I hereby vow to post some kind of movie today.

Right now, I am still too sleepy to think of something to do, let alone do it, but I swear to Gosh I will put something or other together and post it here before the day is through.

As usual, I am walking a tightrope here. I want to capture my enthusiasm and my desire to play in a fruitful way, but I don’t want that to turn into the kind of pressure that makes me want to abandon the whole thing.

The key is to endure. Face the fire. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Ride the wave to where I want to go.

Dunno what I will make. But it doesn’t matter. What matters is ignoring the crazy little voice in my head that says that because this is my first video in a long time, it has to be something enormously and radically amazing.

Nope, too much pressure. It just has to be something. Period.

But that part of me means well. It’s just my pent up creative energies yearning for release, along with my ambitions and my eagerness to make an impact.

The fact that those forces can so easily turn into toxic pressure that makes me quit so I can run away and hide speaks volumes about the nature of my issues. There is still a flaw in the system causing a break in the linkages between enthusiasm and action.

So when enthusiasm builds, it has no way out and ends up backing up and clogging the pipes and that shit is painful and scary, y’all.

But I will turn and face the strain.

Been having fun in Assassin’s Creed : Unity. Climbing all over Revolution-Era Paris is hella cool. There’s a wide variety of missions, and I think I might even be getting some of my French back just from hearing the incidental conversations.

See, the way the game works is that all the important conversations – the ones you have to be able to understand for the plot – are in English.

British English, to be exact, because as we all know from our historical dramas, all Europeans are secretly British.

Oh well, at least we’re used to it. At this point, it would be twerky as hell to hear some European from long ago speak with an American accent.

We’d be like, “But they’re not American!”.

Yeah, well, they’re not British either. But whatever.

Anyhow, so the main conversations are in English, but the random conversations people on the street are having are in French. And real French, the language as she is spoke, not something from a language lab tape.

And besides making me homesick, the bits and pieces I hear as I walk the streets are starting to make a little sense to me. My ear picks out words here and there. Moreso as time goes by.

It would go a lot faster if the French was subtitles. But I guess I am going the natural language route. Fair enough.

Maybe my subconscious mind can sort it all out.

For now, I need more sleep.

More after the break.

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Everything always fails me

No wonder I get so depressed.

So it turns out I will not be making a video today. Here’s why :

I was all ready to make a video at roughly 5 pm. I had decided to do an anti-wealthy rant where I warn them that we, the people, are coming for the money they stole for us via tax cuts and corruption and that if they wanted to continue to be wealthy, they had better submit meekly to the will of the people or we will take everything.

So make nice with my proposed 100 million dollar cap on personal wealth, with everything above that taxed at 99 percent.

Because you want to keep the 100 million…. right?

And so forth and so on. I was ready to start recording, but there was this annoying sliver of sunlight making it through my blinds and after futzing around trying to fix it, I decided to just wait it out instead.

And while I was waiting it out. I got kinda silly.

And now you can see the problem. The audio and video are wildly out of sync and I don’t know how to fix that.

I know I had the problem before, but I don’t remember how I fixed it. It’s been too long.

So I got onto the online help chat for Corel,because I am very close to buying the damn program but this is a bit of a dealbreaker.

First the chat person asked me what the problem was when I had already typed it into the form that opened the chat in the first place. So, bullshit. But I typed it in again.

Then they asked me what program I was talking about. Also bullshit, as I had already told them that, too. So I told them Corel Video Studio 2020.

They then come back with “Oh dear, you were accidentally routed to the help for (Painter)! We will transfer you to the area of concern. ”

Now I have brown flags popping up everywhere because unlike the younger folk, I remember the era of telephones and all the bullshit actual operators used to pull in order to trick you into believing they were doing something.

And sure enough, about five minutes later, the “person” comes back and tells me gosh darn it, all the operators in “area of concern” are busy, so my chat has been converted into a help ticket and they will get back to me via email.

And that’s a triple decker bullshit sandwich with sprinkles, because that was clearly what was always going to happen. That “person” I was “talking” to was clearly a script and the entire “conversation” was just a waste of my time.

And sure, in this fucked up era, there’s a lot of people not making it in to work, but remote online chat is one of the easiest jobs to do from home imaginable, so I don’t buy that there’s a manpower (personpower?) shortage.

No, they just don’t feel like paying people when, from their point of view, a rather simple script does the job “just as well”.

Hopefully their support techs are real people and someone will be able to tell me how to get the damn thing to record properly.

If this proves unfixable, though, I will move on to trying to write for Cracked.

I will make my debut somehow, god damn it!

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.