Just woke up and I am all sleepy and cranky and out of sorts.
More sorts on back order.
Not feeling the words right now. might end up having to stop early again. Wondering if I would be better off waiting until I’ve had some more sleep.
I mean, nothing says I have to eat while I blog. I am eating lunch right now, and I could just watch something on YouTube while I do so.
And man are the words not coming easy right now. It’s hard for me to even stay focused on the screen, let alone put words on it.
Yeah, that sounds good. (Much) more after the break.
That felt wrong. OK, not going to do that again.
What’s more,. while I am not as sleepy as before, I feel worse. I think the sleep I just got was very apnic and I am now running pretty low on oxygen.
Time to do my breathing exercises so I can get the used air out of the bottom of my lungs so good clean unused air can replace it.
And just think, that’s only one of the ways in which my life is a horror show!
There’s also the sores all over my legs! Big gross wounds covered by scabs which itch and therefore tempt me to remove them.
Sounds like a pretty serious problem, doesn’t it? Generally speaking, gaping wounds are a big frigging deal. But not according to the ER doc.
His diagnosis was basically “um,they will probably go away when you get your blood sugar under control,or whatever. Bye!”
Doctors never take me seriously and are always eager to get away from me.
I think it’s because I am fat.
Thebn there’s whatever the hell is happening on my scalp. It’s gone way beyond dandruff now. In fact, I am downright nostalgic for mere severe dandruff.
Instead, the whole front two thirds of my scalp oozes some kind of clear fluid, occasionally mixed with blood, all the time. Said ooze dries into an crusty layer that I have to remove periodically because a) my scalp kind of needs to breathe, and b) it itches just like the scabs do.
I am tempted to cut my hair super short so I can see if my high strength dandruff shampoo to cure the issue.
But it’s already a visible and disgusting problem. Shaving down would make it more so. So if I was to go that route, I would need some kind of hat to wear in public.
And of course, I can’t bring the issue to my doctor any more than I can bring my leg wounds to him because he’snot seeing people in person due to Covid.
How the hell he can diagnose anything over the phone when he can’t even see it is beyond me. Maybe he does Zoom calls now?
For that matter, couldn’t he just wear a mask and surgical gloves? It really depresses me that in person medicine is just not an option for me right now.
So there’s wounds on my legs and my scalp oozes. Of course, I still smother in my sleep as well, and I get weird pains all over my body but especially my feet as my nervous system is slowly self destructing.
Thank goodness medical science has reassured me that none of that is a big deal.
Otherwise I would be really worried!
More after the break.
Funnyman or Firebrand?
So now that I have settled on which facet of the glittering gemstone that is my scintillating personality I want to put on YouTube – the political pundit side – I am left with an even harder question :
Am I going to try to make it funny?
I mean, I got the mad comedy skills. I do funny. And there is no doubt that making my political and social commentary funny would make the product far more appealing than just straight up polemics.
Just look at how popular Colbert and the Daily Show are. I could produce that kind of product no problem. Get the news, pop it into the video editor, add my snarky comments, and there you go.
I think I would call it Riff the News, “the show that really riffs the news a new one”,and if that caught on, I would expand it to “riffing” other things.
Movies, video games, nature documentaries, porn, whatever.
But the problem is, the sort of politic diatribes I have in mind are not funny. I want to excoriate the evil and madness and stupidity I see in the world with the power of my words and my voice, and it’s hard to imagine that also being funny.
Like, I am pretty sure my hero Martin Luther didn’t get a lot of laughs.
But I am not saying it’s impossible. In fact, I am pretty sure there is an acceptable middle path out there somewhere, it’s just going to take a lot of imagination work for me to find it.
No prob. The prize is more than worth the skull sweat.
The obvious median between humor and political commentary is satire. And that’s probably the basic direction I am aiming for.
But I am not sure that what I want to say can even be seen as satire. Or if I do manage to make it satire, it would be the kind that isn’t actually funny.
Like, “A Modest Proposal” is definitely satire, but not many people would find it funny.
So I dunno. I will have to find the exact right point on the funny versus firebrand spectrum for me. And I am sure it will take some trial and error to find it.
Because as much as I would like to think that my magnificent mind can figure things out so well that it’s perfect right from the start, the truth is that in the real world things always require some fiddling and fine tuning before you get them right.
And I hate fiddling around with fine details.
But I very much want things to be done right.
So I guess I will have to get used to it.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.