So after sixteen long and very boring days, I am finally back to my grotty but lovable so-called semi-charmed kind of life.
Da dit, da dit.
And I wish I could say I am overwhelmed by unalloyed joy at being back, *bzzt*
FOX DISCONNECTED DUE TO ACCIDENTAL REBOOT.
EXPECT SOME DELAYS.
YOUR FOX HAS NOW REBOOTED
Argh, that fucking sucked. Accidentally bumped my stupid flakey power supply and it was reboot city for me.
And I haaaaaate being interrupted when I am blogging. It hurts so much!
Like, men…. you know how much it hurts when you have to shut down the flow in the middle of taking a piss?
It’s like that. But in your BRAIN.
And ye gods, does that suck.
And now I have to lie down due to the excess stress.
My life is stupid.
Now where was I?
Oh yeah, how stupid my life is.
And it really is . To wit :
I just tried and failed to go to the kitchen and get food like I should have done hours ago. Like at noon, not 4 fucking PM.
So much for trying to eat on the 1s and 7s. At this rate, I will be lucky to make it to the 4s and 9s. [1]
It took me nearly an hour just to summon up the wherewithal to get up off the bed and try to use the stroller walker to get to the kitchen and back with some food.
Seconds after I stood up and began my journey, a massive wave of dizziness hit me and I had to sit down before I fell down.
Now I told Doctor Wong, my Admitting Doctor at RGH, that my dizziness was almost gone. That’s why he let me come home, for fuck’s sake.
And I swear it WAS almost gone…. yesterday.
But today it haa to deal with extreme heat (hospitals have AC), the full on panic attack I had when I was told I got to go home today (???), and the small amounts of effort I have had to put out to get hom4 and get around which is still way more energy than lying in bed doing crossword puzzles ever cost me.
I have become so damned weak.
To be honest, I kind of miss the hospital. Not entirely, but more than a bit. Life was so much simpler and easier there.
I didn’t have tio take care of myself at all. The quite good food came three times a day without any effort on my part. And I had no responsibilities. Literally nothing except compliance with instructions was expected of me by anybody.
In all honestly, if I had my computer with me when I was there, I would have been in pathetic oral-retentive heaven.
Oh right. So I sat down to wait for the dizziness to pass. When it finally did, I stood up again to resume my kitchen trek.
Only to realize that, dizziness or no, I still felt absolutely terrible and it was probably because the heat had made me dehydrated.
So I shrugged, gave up on lunch for now. refilled my water glass, and sat down here to blog while I rehydrated.
I feel somewhat better now. I still feel tired, sleepy, and weak, but I no longer feel wretched and sick and like I was in Hell’s living room.
And at least I managed to make the call to the Spine Team to leave them a voice mail telling them I was out of the hospital and ready to see them about my spinal issues like the weakness in my legs and recurring chronic back pain
Great, now I am getting waves of dizziness while I am just sitting here typing. Great.
I can only hope this shit will go away when my body adjusts to the abrupt change in my lifestyle and circumstances.
More after the break,
Home too soon?
I am starting to think I left the hospital prematurely.
I have been getting wicked dizziness attacks every time I move. Whether it’s lying down to sitting up, or sitting up to the edge of the bed, and especially if it’s from edge of the bed to standing, I end up with a serious head rush and that is very bad news
I am not ready to go back to the hospital just yet, though. I am still hoping that this will all turn out to be a symptom of reacclimating myself to my home environs, and it will all blow over once I have had a good night’s rest.
If not, though, I am prepared to go back if I have to. Very prepared, in fact, because my Amazon Prime Fire 10 arrived and so I would have a much easier time of it now that I can have the Internet in my hot little hands the whole time.
Still not eager to be there, but at least it would be more manageable.
Setting up the Fire with our network was tricky. Turns out that of the passwords we have written down, only the original default one still works,
But now I have my own big “black mirror” to play with. So yay that.
This dizziness is a bitch, though. I had to get Julian to bring me some food from the kitchen because I was too messed up by head rushes to do it myself.
Even with the aid of my new walker.
Relatedly, I am going to have to rethink my meal routine because while I can get to the kitchen and make a meal no problem, it is impossible to bring it back with me to my room because using a walker occupies both hands..
Oops. Luckily, this excellent walker comes with saddlebags, or as I think of them, paniers. So it’s not as hopeless as it first seemed.
I will just have to break down my usual meals into sections I can store in the saddlebags and take back to my room that way.
This will definitely involve Ziploc bags.
After all, I am not going to toss a peanut butter sandwich or a handful of tail mix directly into the saddlebags, am i?
Of course, that assumes I actually regain my ability to make it to the kitchen.
This heat has absolutely beaten the shit out of me.
Oh, and my life is still stupid.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.