In that I am sick today.
Some kind of flu, I think. I woke upo this morning with some of the classic signs – full body muscle ache, deep set weariness that keeps me on the edge of sleep at all times, throbbing headache.
So I definitely have something.
And wow did I feel bad at that point. Enough that I was seriously wondering if I should go to Urgent Care and have them take a look at me.
Eventually. I mean, last time it took three hours for them to get around to me.
“Urgent Care” must be one of those ironic nicknames, like calling a big fella “Tiny”
But then an odd but quite lovely thing happened . I hadn’t had a sufficient breakfast and I was feeling super tired so I decided to go to the kitchen for a can of store brand diet cola and a banana.
Yeah, I am back for a limited engagement with caffeinated beverages. My non-excuse for adding a case of diet cola in cans to my order last week was that Sav-On doesn’t have anything caffeine free in cans.
The real reason, though, is that I miss caffeine. And there have been a number of times besides today when I really wished I has something caffeinated to drink because I really needed a boost.
My only defence besides the above is that because it’s in cans, I will be having my “doses” of caffeine 333 ml at a time instead of the previous regime’s 1L at a time.
So I’ve at least gotten rid of two thirds of the problem!
Oh right, the cool thing
I almost forgot. Man, am I tangent prone.
The cool thing was that after a fair bit of initial discomfort, I found that the effort of getting up to get my banana and cola actually made me feel a whole lot better.
Exercise can make you feel BETTER? We’re through the looking glass here people!
The flu fog cleared and mu muscles stopped aching so much and I got a good healthy sweat going that really cleared the gunk out of my system.
So maybe I never had the flu in the first place. Maybe I just needed to get up and fucking MOVE.
So I am doing my best to hold on to this lesson for as long as I can so it has the best chance of actually penetrating all those thick layers of habit and depression that keep me thinking that effort is always the enemy and laziness must always be maximized.
It’s so stupid and so wrong but I can’t seem to convince my deeper self that such heresy as effort making me feel better could possibly be true.
Even though I know damned well it can totally be true. Like it was today.
I felt so much better after a little strain and sweat. It got my juices flowing, stretched some of the pain out of my muscles, and made me sweat some of the garbage out of my system..
All for a fairly paltry investment of effort.
Sounds like a wise and prudent move to me.
And besides, what’s the end game of all this laziness? Doing nothing at all?
No thanks. I’d rather be alive.
More after the brealk.
Out, out damn’d Spot!
How’s that goddamned dog keep getting in here, anyway?
Typing while spots dance in my eyes once again. This is getting real old real fasr.
I still feel somewhat okay., although an afternoon nap fucked me up some.
Sleep is always a gamble for me. Maybe it will make me feel better. Maybe it will leave me feeling a whole lot worse. If it were optional, I just wouldn’t bother.
I don’t play if the odds are that terrible. I am no fool.
But it isn’t optional. Trust me on that. I quite foolishly treated it like it was for much of my misspent youth and suffered greatly as a result.
Such pointless suffering.
Like with my recent chat about carbs with the dietician. My almost no carbs diet is so obviously wrong when examined with even a speck of rationality. I used to make fun of people who foolishly went no carb back when Atkins was king.
Such fools these mortals be, said I Don’t they know that carbohydrates are the basic fuel of all life and the only thing your brain can use as food?
And yet, in response to another dismal a1c test (they show long term blood sugar levels), I decided that the solution would be to cut all remaining carbs from my diet.
That seems insane to me. Talk about making the equal and opposite error. Sure, there was a time in my life when I ate way too many carbs. Every goddamned meal had its side dish of chips, pretzels, cheesies, and so forth.
I ate like a fucking child, is what I am saying. No wonder I have health issues now.
But eliminating most of the carbs from my diet was a very wrong solution.
I suppose it appealed to me because it didn’t involve me having to exercise. I have never found dietary restrictions to be a cause of much suffering.
I am lucky enough to have been raised with a very flexible and open minded view of food that allows me to believe that there is plenty of tasty food out there no matter what restrictions I am under.
So yeah, I miss all those carb laden junk foods. But I don’t crave them. I sometimes wish I could still eat them but then reality kicks in and reminds me that I totally could but they would just make me feel ill and be an overall net loss for yours truly.
So I miss the flavours and the fun. But I am in no risk of backsliding
That stuff all seems pretty gross to me.
If I am to add more carbs back into my diet, it will be in a radically different form.
Something more like real food.
I hear good things about brown rice.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.