Fox on bennies!

Well, kinda. It’s a muscle relaxant called cyclobenzaprine.

Took my first one early this afternoon. So far no major side effects. I don’t feel especially drowsy. I do feel a tiny bit woozy. That’s it.

And there is a pleasant warm feeling suffusing my muscles and that feels very nice. I don’t think it’s relaxing my muscles per se but then again, this was only my first dose.

I’ll take another with supper.

The instructions on the bottle say I am to take it “3 times a day as needed”. and I am like, well, which one is it?

Are they predicting that I will need it three times a day? Or are they TELLING me how often I will need it? Or are they basically saying, “We have no idea. Pick one yourself.”

I mean, yeah, I know, they probably mean “take as needed but no more than three times a day”, but the phrasing is ambiguous and that annoys me.

I will also be trying my new osteoporosis medication, alendronate, soon.

That one kind of scares me. The instructions are so strict sounding and relatively complicated compared to the rest of my meds.

I have to take it when I have just gotten out of bed in the AM and at least half an hours before I eat anything.

Apparently having food in your stomach messes up the absorption rate of the drug. Which strikes me as a significant design flaw.

I mean, people gotta eat.

But whatever. I have to take it immediately after getting out of bed and then DO NOT lie down again for the next half hour.

Or my bone density will come back wrong, I guess.

Hmph. Well it’s having one another side effect : it’s making it very hard to get the words out. I am struggling here and I am not even half way done.

And I am feeling pretty sleepy. Not unusual for me for this time of day but this feels different. I feel very slowed down and laggy.

Noted. We will see how I feel after taking a second dose with supper. Might end up being a once a day thing, if that.

Because this kind of sucks. It’s kind of like being drunk except without that lovely feeling of boozy bonhomie.

Oh well. Hopefully I will feel better after a nice long post-writing nap

The most annoying thing is that this osteoporosis drug is only taken once a week. And I have historically not been very good at remembering to do things once a week.

My current drug regime is all daily, and that suits me. I’m good at that. I take my 8 (!) different daily meds every day without a problem.

But weekly? Meh. If I was good at that, I would not have let my Ozempic sit there on my desk gathering dust for more than a year.

People seem to think it’s a hot new weight loss drug. I never noticed myself losing weight when I was on it.

But it’s not like I check my weight ever.

So I will need to set up a weekly reminder on my tablet to take the damned thing. While I am at it, I should set up reminders for the two days a week I am supposed to be take the lower 30 mg dose of Paxil.

I’ve always been absentminded. I keep forgetting to do something about that.

Ha ha ha.

Right now, I am really looking forward to finishing my blogging and then taking a quick pee before going right back to bed.

I am beginning to sag in my seat here.

More after the break.


Another temporal displacement

Here I am. having “supper” at 10:30 PM. Oops.

What happened : I played video games (AC : Odyssey) until 7;55 pm. So far so good, I usually have supper at 8;02 pm.

But the moment I stopped playing, I realized I was SUPER sleepy. So I set an alarm on my tablet for 8:17 pm so I can take a 20 minute power nap.

OK, maybe not an actual nap. More of a 20 minute power snooze.

So I do that. Drowse away for 20 minutes. Alarm goes off. I turn it off, and think to myself, “Nah. I need another twenty minutes. ”

Then fall back to sleep without ever setting a second alarm. D’oh!

Oh well. We trundle onwards regardless. There’s nothing I can do about it now, so there is no point to dwelling on it any further.

And what the heck does it really matter, anyhow?

I think I am getting a little better at severing myself from the past once it has passed. I still have many parsecs to go before I can stop living in the past and commit myself to living in, and for, the here and now, but I am heading in the right direction.

It’s just that I am so used to living slightly out of phase with what is going on around me and what is happening in the here and now that the very thought of being fully and completely present gives me a full on prickly cold sweat on the back of my neck panic.

It would be so intense! So unfiltered. So REAL, and demanding, and consequential, and so very very LOUD on all possible levels.

Surely there is no way I could handle all that. I would be completely overwhelmed. It would destroy me utterly.

Or at least that’s how it feels.

That’s why all this “mindfulness” bullshit does not appeal to me. Yes, I get that a great way to fight anxiety is to “ground” yourself in the here and now by, say, looking around to find something red, then something green, and so on in your immediate environs .

That’s not going to work for me. For me, that causes anxiety.

What a piece of work am I.


And that’s where I stupidly tried to render an image in Stable Diffusion, knowing that it could crash my computer, and crashed my computer.

And that sucked, but I have to admire the flawless ironic timing of it. It literally crashed at the exact moment I was thinking, “But what if it crashes?”.

I am truly my own worst enemy.

Not that there’s a lot of competition for that job….

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.