… although us mortals suspect.

Heya foobketeers! I hope you all have your Secret Dakota Rings (because we special people know there’s a third Dakota, and it sure ain’t Fanning, am I right kids?), your Official Foobketeer Spy Glasses(for looking into Mom and Dad’s SOULS!), and of course, your very own custom personalized ultra secret and cool jar of industrial-strength artisnal Mustardayonaise. Otherwise, you’re not a true Foobketeer, and all your friends and family will mock you mercilessly for the shameful and scurrilous faker than you are!

And you’ll deserve it too, dammit.

Sorry, kids, that was a tad harsh. You’ll have to forgive your poor old lovable Uncle MJB for not being his usual halt and chipper self today, and being even, perhaps, a wee bit snarly round the edges, but one of his key medications for his diabetes has gone off the market here in Canada^[1] and he is three days without it and beginning to feel the effects. He feels tired and stressed and cranky and ill and like all his joints need severe lubrication (Oilcan! Oilcan!), and it’s put a hamper on his usual Sunday fooblefied ebullience. So as he vowed, as a child, never to take out his foul moods on others (unlike certain fathers he has), he has withdrawn from social congress, holed up in his roam, and suffers in seclusion. Thus, he saves everyone from the barbs of his infirm state.

Well, except for you people, but you love me, so you understand.

Seriously, though, I feel like hell. And I am pissed off at my doctor, because I found out about Avandia, the drug that put my diabetes in check, being discontinued on last Wednesday, and the pharmacist assured me that she would call my doctor’s office immediately and they would arrange some kind of alternative, and so far… no word from either party. I am totally going to call my doctor tomorrow and get me some explanations, because here I am getting sicker while someone does not do their god damned job.

I will try to remain calm on the phone, though. More flies with honey, and all that. But I am feeling cruddy enough so that my usual deference and timidity will most likely be entirely superceded by my burgeoning grumpiness.

I mean, this is my freaking life on the line here, people. Hop to it!

Must remain calm. Clear blue oceans, deep cleansing breaths, daydreams of bloody and painful vengeance on all who have ever wronged me or caused me pain…. ah, that’s better.

So um…. foobs and stuff. Right. Uh…. well there’s uh….. no, no, that wouldn’t do. I guess I could show you…. nope, never mind that, too dark… um….. fuck.

Sorry kids. I got nothin’.

Here’s a random cute animal pic from my collection.

Yup. That's what cute looks like.

Aww. That makes me feel better. I still feel ill, but there is nothing quite like a picture of an adorable animal peacefully asleep to soothe the rattled nerves of a sickie, especially if the sickie is me.

For those of you unfamiliar with this charming and adorable species, the sleeping cutie you are looking at is a red panda, sometimes known by its Chinese name as a wah, and while I know it looks like the creation of a mad genius stuffed animal designer, it’s a real honest to goodness animal that lives and breathes and scampers through the tress in southwest China and the Himalayan Mountains.

As much as we love our adorable everyday cats and dogs and other critters, it’s amazing to think there’s whole continents full of adorable animals we’ve never even seen, isn’t it?

A globetrotter’s perspective on the cute and cuddly critters of the world, I suppose.

One more darn cute pic :

Big kitties are cute too!

Awwwww. They’re just big kittens after all! Really big kittens, with the bodies of nature’s perfect athletes, reflexes faster than lightning, a mouthful of teeth that could rip the face right off your skull, and claws like razors that crave meat.

But look at that fuzzy tummy! Don’t you just want to fuzzle it?

Yup, no way I would survive that encounter.

That’s it for me, all my dear sweet gentle and above all sexy readers. Time for your Uncle MJB to go lie down and feel miserable for a while.

Seeya next weekm, kids!