Only the wretched

I don’t feel very good right now.

I feel twitchy and anxious and paranoid and overwhelmed. I feel like I just plain can’t handle life right now and all I want to do is hide till it all goes away.

I know that part of it is simply caffeine jitters. I had a litre of Diet Coke with lunch and if there is one think I have learned about being a slave to the caff, it’s that if its dark gift is not used, it turns into anxiety, tension, and all the rest.

Makes sense. Don’t call up energy unless you’re going to use it.

But stupidly, I decided to take a nap after lunch instead of going straight to blogging, like I usually do. Blogging expresses the energy and that keeps me moving for a thousand words. To lay down and nap just because I felt sort of sleepy was dumb.

Doing it without having the CPAP on was doubly dumb.

So now I am not only tense and jittery, I’m also enjoy the effects of low blood oxygen. Wee.

And I also have a headache, which is honestly the thing making everything else seem worse. I just took a fistful of acetaminophen. I hope that does the damn job. My head feels like something is trying to drill its way out of my sinuses.

Trying to figure out why I am not more angry at my dad for making life miserable for the whole family during my childhood. Life would have been so much nicer without him. His tirades and attacks at the dinner table were only the most direct and blatant expression of his rage.

Day to day life with him around did more damage, to me and to my siblings.

I guess part of why I am not more angry is simple exhaustion. I am tired. Getting angry requires energy.

But the real deal is that familiar terror of my own capacity for rage. I feel like if I started getting mad at him, I would never stop. My rage at him (the rage he gave me) is so vast and potent that I am afraid that if I open that door at all, I will explode.

That’s not the sort of thing that actually happens, I would imagine. But it feels like it will.

So all I can do is release the anger a little bit at a time and hope that it helps over time. He wasn’t the only one who hurt me in my childhood, but he’s the main one.

And yet, it was all indirect (well, almost all). I suffered more from the tense atmosphere than from his actual anger. I was very afraid of him, and really preferred not to be around him at all, but I didn’t become the focus of his rage very much.

It was the walking on eggshells that really drained me. Childhood shouldn’t be like that. It should be a time for friendship, family, and fun. Not fear.

They say that one of the most psychologically damaging things is long-term stress about something which you cannot predict or control. That’s why soldiers in Afghanistan have such a high rate of mental breakdown. They can’t predict or control when they will be attacked or encounter an IED or end up in the middle of a violent sectarian dispute, so they end up mentally ill from the strain.

Most recover once they get out of the war zone. But some don’t.

I grew up in a kind of war zone. I could never tell when my father would go off. I went through my period of believing that I could control it by doing everything right, just like a lot of victims of abuse.

But that didn’t work, and it didn’t work because he was a toxic, angry man who needed to abuse people in order to calm his inner demons. My siblings and I could have done everything exactly the way he wanted them done and he still would have gotten mad at us for something else, even if he had to invent an excuse.

So we lived in a house with no way to avoid or even predict when the bad stuff would hit us. At times, it seemed like there was no hope.

And sometimes, I think we took it out on each other.

Back to my own tension in the here and now. I think I went through this same thing in the first month of my first semester, when it all seemed so overwhelming and I was sure I was going to crash and burn.

Then the first round of tests came along, I did great on them without even studying, , and I was like “Well…. that was easy. ” And for the rest of the semester, I was chill.

Dunno if that will happen again. I hope it does, but in another way, I hope it doesn’t. It might do me a lot of good to face something where I have to try really hard in order to succeed.

Academically speaking, life has been very easy for me.

I haven’t been doing that well physically lately, probably because of the sugary shit I have been eating. I’m super thirsty all the time, I drink tons of water, I pee frequently.

Peeing once an hour becomes quite tiresome after a while.

So part of my revitalization has to be getting my diet back under control. No more muffins. If I want something dessert-like, it will have to be something sugar free, or it had better be at least two weeks since I had something else sugary.

The restricted diet of a diabetic can be very depressing. But it beats feeling crappy all the time.

Still, I wonder what it would be like if I had tons of money. That would make the temptation far worse. Without the financial barrier, all the sweet things in the world are open to you.

Then again, so are the neat ways to exercise. Hmm.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.

On The Road : My Insufficient Excrement Concentration edition

In other words, my need to get my shit together.

Here I am, in my second favorite White Spot (Richmond Center), waiting for my prescriptions to be filled and for my food to arrive. And wondering about my life and how I live it.

Remembered, at the last minute, that my flash fiction assignment is due at 8 pm tonight. Panicked. Threw together something cute, complete with the twist ending that flash fiction seems to require. 103 words. Very flash.

But the thing is, I shouldn’t be doing a last minute slapdash job on important assignments. I am capable of so much more. I have all the skills necessary to be a far more together and organized person. I can totally design a system to keep myself on schedule with my schoolwork, and therefore makes my lufe far less stressful by making sure I do readings and homework at a time when I am racing against the clock.

I don’t have to be the sort of person who doesn’t act until it’s an emergency. I don’t like that sort of person and I don’t want to be one. So it is time for me to make a solid,  concentrated effort to get my poop in a group.

I have already figured out that i need to SCHEDULE my coursework, not just stick it in a note file I never look at.A

And it is going to mean regaining my lost self-discipline. I let myself fall apart over the holidays and it is time to put myself back together as someone. I can respect and admire.

After all, I am an extraordinary human being. It’s time I acted like one.

The cute young couple at the table next to mine totally  just did the “one shake two straws” thing. How Archies can you get?

The guy did most of the talking (natch) and babbled inanely the whole time. If I had been his date, I would have been rolling my eyes and checking my watch. But she seemed quite happy with him.

Then again, she is Japanese, so….ya never know.

Done eating. Time to get my drugs and go home.

(—)

Home now. Made my way home all slow and casual like. Shopper’s to 3 road and Cook. Sit on bus bench, relax, soak in the clear night air rinsed clean by rain. 3 and Cook to Buswell and Cook. Another bus bench, another rest. Then from Buswell and Cook to home.

I’m all by myself in the apartment. That’s normal for a Saturday night. Joe and Julian are off playing board games with Joe’s parents. So the apartment is empty, and very quiet.

Which is kinda lonely…. and kinda nice.

Like I have said before, growing up with two parents and three siblings all in the same house meant the house was rarely silent, except in the middle of the night. I never particularly minded the general homey hubbub. It just meant there were people around.

And for someone who developed a strong tendency to self-isolate, reminders that I was not as alone as I felt were rather comforting.

Had a nice meal at White Spot, as usual. Tried one of their latest creations : a mac and cheese hamburger. They added their version of mac n’ cheese to the menu last year, and now they are riffing on that ingredient, including,I kid you not, mac and cheese fritters.

I can feel my arteries clogging just at the thought of it. Um, no. That crosses the line for me.

It’s like this picture I saw recently of a bacon cheeseburger with Krispy Kreme donuts as buns. So very EWW. There is absolutely no reason to create such a monstrosity. Surely nobody with a functioning prefrontal cortex can think it would taste good. The only motive for creating such a nightmare is compulsive decadence backed by deep and heartfelt self-loathing.

It does seem odd to me that I have come to a point in my life when people are making things too unhealthy for me. It’s not like I have a long history of being a health nut or something.

The only healthy habit I have ever been able to maintain is drinking lots of water. And even that is mostly driven by the same oral fixation that made me a fat guy to begin with.

You know…. seeking reward through the mouth.

Water might not be the most exciting beverage in the world, but it’s the cheapest and easiest to get, and I can have as much of it as I want.

And just because it isn’t as rewarding as most beverages, that doesn’t mean it’s entirely unrewarding. It’s all about what you expect out of it.

Back to the point. The point is that I never thought I would be the one saying “That’s horrible! Why would anybody EAT that? Have these people no self-respect or at least a self-preservation urge?”

The judged becomes the judge, I guess.

I have installed my new monitor. It is kewl. A big big 22 inches, and flat. The increase in size doesn’t have a huge effect. The eye quickly adjusts.

But it’s a widescreen monitor (I was told video games will soon start requiring them), so I am now seeing the Internet through a rectangle instead of a square.

Which is slightly odd. I don’t quite know where to put my eyes sometimes. I am sure I will adjust soon. Until then, it’s slightly annoying, no more.

The real adjustment will be when my new computer arrives some time next week (between Wednesday and Friday). Right now, the picture is the bigger, but the resolution is the same because I was already at the maximum resolution my graphics card supports.

But when the new computer arrives, I will be able to double the resolution at least, and that should make for quite the visual impact, at least at first.

And my computer will be new and shiny and good instead of old and busted and lame.

Still, I have had this computer for so long that I knew it will be a sentimental goodbye when time comes.

Maybe I will be able to find it a new home.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.