And boy, is that bird rich.
I have now received my two thousand bucks. And frankly it’s left me a tad giddy.
That’ the most spendable cash I have ever had all at once, and it’s quite the thrill. I feel like I just learned to fly and this is my first wild, crazy flight.
I’ve already talked about a lot of the possible purchases. A new computer chair, a new monitor, a VR unit like the Oculus Rift.
I also could use some new clothes. Pants, especially. Might be time for a trip to the good ol Big N’ Tall downtown. Get myself some more jeans.
Maybe even fulfill my long held dream of having a pair of pants for every day of the week. Seven pairs of fully functional wearable pants! At the same time!
Such delectable luxury!
Speaking of delectable things, I am definitely planning a largish order of meat from Sav-On in order to kickstart my new higher animal product diet.
Seems ironic that while all the other good liberals are cutting back on animal flesh and even becoming vegan, I am medically mandated to go the other way.
So I will order cold cuts, precooked bacon, some of those pot pies I love so much, and any other non-vegan goodies I can think of.
Got to be careful not to over-shop and end up with more than I can store, though.
I haven’t yet found a way to explain to my doctor that while I am not a vegan, I ended up eating a vegan diet most of the time kind of by accident.
Not sure when or how that happened. I know that even when I was super poor, I would at least buy turkey based hot dogs and burgers ’cause they were dirt cheap.
Then again, I was younger and more energetic and willing to cook then.
That’s why this time through, I am concentrating on super easy foods. Nothing that requires preheating the over or heating up a frying pan. Just stuff that is either already cooked or just requires a bit of time in the ol’ microwave.
There’s also a strong possibility of my hiring some cleaners to clean my room. I am especially keen on getting the carpets cleaned in the bedroom and the linoleum and tub cleaned in my bathroom.
Tidying up is something I could, at least in theory, do myself. But the kind of deep cleaning of carpet and such I want takes special equipment and training.
Ideally, I would get people to come in and sanitize the whole joint. Top to bottom, wall to wall, every square inch of surface, bed abbd bedding and everything else left so clean you could perform open heart surgery on it.
That might get rather expensive, though.
The point, inasmuch as there needs to be one, is that I now have the means to make some real improvements in my life.
Or at the very least, have a lot of fun for a while.
And that makes me happy.
More after the break.
Thought this would be fun to do.
- Blackjack chewing gum and Teaberry. This is my 0,5 because I totally remember Blackjack chewing gum. Lovely stuff, tastes like licorice and made the inside of your mouth all black and gross, which means a lot to a kid. But I have no idea what Teaberry is. It rings the tiniest of bells from very far away, and that’s it.
- Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water. Yes, sadly. I suppose they taught a valuable lesson in cynicism because they looked delicious and were so, so, so very NOT. Wax is not food, dammit. And that sugar water tasted like ass.
- Candy cigarettes. Yup! Both the ones I liked, the Popeye brand, and that other brand that had some sort of sports trading cards along with them. Might have been made by Topps, dunno. I liked them because you got a lot of them for your money and I really dug the flavour.
- Pop machines that dispensed glass bottles. I’m going to give myself a point for this even though it’s sort of cheating because until fairly recently, pop was ONLY available in glass bottles on PEI. That’s because our anti-littering laws forbid selling any beverage in a non-refillable container. Not non-recyclable – no-refillable. So I was in my teens before I drank Coke from a can.
- Coffee shops or diners with table-side jukeboxes. This one is a total question mark for me. I think I recall being at one once, but I was so young at the time that it’s hard to be sure. I saw them later but only in “kitsch cafe” type places.
- Home milk delivery etc. Nope. I think my siblings might remember the era of the milkman but I only know them from pop culture. Seems very nice though.
- Party lines. Nope. Thank goodness. Pretty sure between social anxiety and sensory overload, I would have been terrified of the phone. Well, MORE terrified.
- Newsreels before the movie. Nope. I barely remember cartoons before the movie from my horrifying forays into watching the matinee in my home town’s theater. That’s a tale for another time though.
- P.F. Flyers. No idea WTF. See Teaberry in #1 above.
- Butch wax. Ditto. Do I even want to know?
- TV Test Patterns. Oh yeah. I can still see the one all the Canadian channels used. Kind of miss it. This is what happens when you let TV raise your kids, folks…. test pattern nostalgia.
- Peashooters. Another question mark, but this time it’s more of a technical question. I certainly never saw someone shoot actual peas but we definitely used straws to shoot spitwads, and that seems like basically the same thing,.
- Howdy Doody, Nope. Way before my time. I’ve seen clips and found him to be quite horrifying. But millions of kids loved him, and clowns. WTF happened?
- 45 RPM records. Otherwise known as “singles”. And yeah, totally, of course. I remember vinyl in all its glory. I don’t miss it, though. Let’s just say it was not compatible with my clumsiness.
- S&H Green Stamps. The mother of all rewards programs. But double no. No because I don’t think we had them here in Canada, and no because even if they did, it was way before my time.
- Hi-fi’s. Hell yeah. I was too young to be a part of it, but I remember when there were serious social stakes to having the best stereo setup around, because that’s where people would go to listen to records, ergo that’s where the party was, ergo the chicks would be coming to YOUR PLACE to get drunk and high and turned on by the tunes, and even a pretty ugly dude can get laid in THAT situation. So you had all these dudes living in shitty apartments with AMAZING stereos.
- Metal ice cube trays with a lever. Nope. Only remember the plastic ones you crack with your bare hands, like a man.
Well that was fun. I scored 7.5 out of 17, or 44 percent.
It was clearly made with a late Boomer/early X audience in mind. I could make one for us Gen X types that would REALLY make them feel old.
But like….why?
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.