Or don’t. It’s complicated.
Took my sleeping pill, Mirtazapine, this morning with breakfast. Ended up having a hell of a time waking up. Hence my eating “lunch” right now, at a quarter to three.
It’s more like a blending of lunch and supper, which I’m calling lupper.
As I eat my lupper, I am tempted to go on one of my tirades against the damned sleeping pill for making it so hard to wake up and causing me to have the bad kind of sleep where I wake up all sweaty and confused and disoriented.
This would usually end with my swearing off the pill until I “need” it again, and the whole cycle would start all over.
But today is different. Today, I think I have leveled up a bit because today, it occurred to me to ask, “What if I need the sleep?”.
Maybe this whole crappy sleep thing is just a byproduct of the fact that the pill is actually doing its job extremely well and I am finally catching up on desperately needed sleep.
And why should I take it so hard when I wake up in a bad state now and then? A lot of people wake up feeling terrible as a matter of course. Why should I make a fuss over it and use it as an excuse to not take my sleepy pill?
So for now at least, I am going to keep taking it with breakfast. That way I can be assured that I will, eventually, catch up on sleep.
I just might have to go through some periods where I wake up all muzzy-headed and have to get up for a little while to let my poor head cool off along the way,
Meanwhile, in Skyrim
Finished my latest incarnation in Skyrim, my Wood Elf archer. Got him up to level 42 and with 700 exhibits in my beloved Legacy of the Dragonborn museum.
Ended up playing him for so long that I basically started a new character without starting over. I maxed out his Archery and Light Armor skills, so eventually I switched to Heavy Armor and Two Handed Weapons.
I had fun building up the new skills while still having my kickass Archery as a backup skill for when things got too intense.
And who knows, maybe I won’t start a new character. Maybe I will keep plugging away till I max out Heavy Armor and Two Handed Weapons, then start developing magic skills as a third mode.
Depends on whether I find a cool custom race I want to try. One thing you can’t change about your character is race.
Then again, starting my Legacy collection all over again sucks.
Either way, I am looking to really freshen my Skyrimming by getting new mods for things like overhauling the magic and skills systems,
I’m calling it Operation Overhaul. Should really perk things up.
We’re still doing this?
So I have started my new incarnation in Skyrim.
A High Elf (aka Altmer), because I wanted to make a mage and they are the best at magic and also kinda sexy in that elfin way.
Not that I plan any sexytimes fun for this character. Step 1 of Operation Overhaul was uninstalling all my happy little sex mods.
Because the truth is that I almost never actually used them, and they took up a lot of system resources and are probably the cause of a lot of mods just plain not working, so they had to go.
But it was a sad farewell. I got pretty emotionally attached to them. And while I never used their functionality, I took a certain warm comfort from them being there.
I suppose that’s how it goes when you’re an older male. You might not have all that much actual lust left in you, but you still have the warm memories of all the intimate fun you used to have, and those comfort you.
Anyhow, they had to go. Out with the old, in with the new. They might come back eventually, but I am giving myself at least a week without them to see whether or not I really miss them,
I am a bit bummed that I couldn’t find a race mod that I liked. And I checked out around a hundred of the damned things. But none of them matched my criterion for this incarnation as a wizardly type.
Other incarnations, though, I will totally be there. There is one race out of a pack of races where you can be a molten rock creature and can use mineral ores you find to give yourself temporary defense bonuses, and that sounds fun
I did find one crazy ass mod I liked : Phenderix Magic World.
It adds an insane amount of content, including new spells, new lands, new quests, new enchantment, and custom penises.
Not sure about that last one, but it’s implied.
So I have Phenderix installed, and I will try out its content once I have got my new guy (Sirus the Callow) up and running and well established.
One fucked up thing : I used a mod called Imperious to give the races available in Skyrim more interesting.
Under it, each race has three racial abilities plus a fourth they can unlock with a quest. And for most of the races, the quest is something like “use this ability X times”.
But for the High Elves, the quest is “pull the wings off of 40 butterflies. ”
In other words, kill 40 butterflies. Cute, harmless, pretty little butterflies.
Shows that the mod maker basically thinks of High Elves as a race of prissy sadistic pricks, and they are not wrong.
And normally, I would disdainfully ignore such quests, but I happen to know that the ability it unlocks, Contingency, is super frigging useful.
It lets you set spells to automatically cast when certain conditions occur. An example would be a healing spell that casts itself on you whenever you are below 50 percent health, or an illusion spell that turns you invisible when it detects someone searching for you, or even an explosive fireball that triggers on death.
That would be the “I’m taking you motherfuckers with me!” option.
So I guess I am going to kill me a bunch of butterflies. Dammit. Oh well, it’s not like they bleed or beg for mercy.
They just go directly from being butterflies flapping about to dead butteries in your inventory without any fuss.
So I can do it. Sure I can.
Sorry little guys. But I want my magic!
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow,