Or whatever. I can’t tell my body to make up its mind, because its mind is my mind, the one that lives in my brain, so…aaaanyhow.
Form a consensus, corpus!
There. That’s a nice, normal, naturalistic mode of expression.
My points, inasmuch as I have one, is that my body can’t seem to decide how sick I am.
I felt pretty okay this morning. Mellow, even. And I slept. A lot. Decent quality sleep too, not the tortured underwater death marathon that sleep apnea and overactive REM cycles deliver unto me sometimes.
No, this was good quality relaxed sleep. Which was lovely and all.
But then I wake up around 1 pm, take my usual post awakening massive pee, and immediately want to go back to bed because despite having already slept for seven hours, I am still all cozy-sleepy and want more snooze time.
I decide against naptime, though, as I will need to eat at 2 pm anyhow, and my Sav-On order will be arriving between 3 pm and 5 pm, so, no sleep for me at least until my grocery order shows up.
So I start playing video games, and find my thoughts drifting to thoughts of summer over and over again, despite it being Jan 4. Weird.
Then I suddenly realize my toasty warm cozy feeling is indicative of having a mild fever.
No wonder I kept waking up super thirsty, with dry mouth so bad it felt like the inside of my mouth had turned to cheap leather.
Mystery solved, I guess.
So now I am in the unusual position of knowing that I am sick even though I do not feel sick at all.
Which is a bummer, to be honest. Why couldn’t I just feel good for a while without there needing to be a sinister reveal?
Oh well, this too shall pass. I will get my groceries and a bunch more sleep and hopefully I will get over whatever this is, and be better off for the experience.
Somehow. We can sketch in the details later.
The frustration with doing nothing but waste my life playing video games continues to grow. There has to be something more fun and interesting to do with my time.
And if said thing was also productive, that would be keen.
There has to be some way out of this dead end playpen of a life. I have all this magic in my mind and wonder in my soul just waiting to burst like fireworks in the night sky and shed some much needed light on this benighted world, and yet all I do all day is sleep, eat, poop, and masturbate my mind.
And that’s just so sad. And stupid. I deserve better. I deserve a nice, comfortable, fun life where I can use my gifts to spread sunshine in the world and make a decent middle class living doing so.
Also : a good husband, a pleasant and cozy home, and SO. MANY. CATS.
Sounds reasonable to me. I don’t need wealth, or status, and fame would be fun if it got me on talk shows and such, but anything more would be more of burden than a boon.
All I really want is a happy, pleasant, grown up kind of life.
Should be doable, right?
More after the break.
The adventure continues
Things just keep getting worse.
Got my groceries. Bunch of stuff I wanted failed to arrive, as usual. Don’t worry, I was not charged for them. They were just “out of stock”.
I have my suspicions.
Slept a bunch more, dozed for most of the rest of the time. Finally got up at 7:45 pm. Was going to eat, but realized I felt terrible, so I sat down in front of the computer and did codeword puzzles till 8:15 pm.
I am pretty good at them. Sometimes I need help starting. Sometimes I don’t.
At 8:15, I got up to go get food, but I got up way too fast.
You’d think I would have learned from what happened when I got out of bed, but nooo. I popped up like a balloon with its string cut and instantly became very ill.
The usual Sinus Suite : headache pounding, nausea surging, eyes watering, oh, and the room spinning as a massive wave of dizziness washes over me as my blood apparently rushes in all directions at the same time.
Despite this, I made it to the kitchen and got some food in a bowl. So far so food. But when I went to get my ice for my Diet Coke, the top ice tray was stuck to the bottom ice tray causing the bottom one to fall to the floor, ice cubes shooting out everywhere.
Which I then had to bend over and pick up.
You know what really sucks when I am all dizzied up like this?
Bending over and picking things up.
I survived that, somehow, then made my way back to my computer. On the way, I nearly brained myself on a random wall twice due to dizziness and got quite lost on my extremely short journey for a moment or two.
Starting to think I might be really, really sick now. Not just “fighting something off”. Seriously ill. The dizziness, the feverish feeling, the nausea, all of it.
It all adds up to some serious shit.
So I think I will be calling my GP for an appointment tomorrow. It’s not nearly bad enough for the ER but it’s def reached GP level.
And it seems to be slowly getting worse, so I might land in the ER yet.
I don’t think it’s the Covid. I can smell and taste, and my breathing is okay. But my nose is running, and has been, on and off, for about a week.
And I definitely feel feverish. So there’s that.
Here’s a question : what the hell happens when they ask me if I have had fever and/or runny nose and I say yes?
They can’t kick me out, can they? At least, not from the ER.
I picture it as being like when that poor monster comes back from a mission with a sock stuck to him in Monsters Inc.
It would be terrible for my social anxiety, but also kind of fun. Very exciting.
And I would enjoy being the center of attention for once.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.