454 words. That’s how many words I have to add in this section of my blogging.

Forgive the variance in format, but I wanted to link to the Trump thing on its own because I thought it was pretty good and worth sharing on Facebook and I didn’t want there to be a bunch of non-related stuff at the bottom.\

I felt so good about my column, in fact, that I crossposted it to Vocal, which is a blogging site where if your article gets enough hits, you get money.

I signed up for it ages ago, and put a couple things up there, but neither of them survived the review process.

Turns out they have a 600 word minimum. Noted. Kind of sucks for those who want to write short, pithy, funny stuff, but whatever.

Limitations are opportunities for growth, after all.

It will make a good testing ground in my campaign to put literally any of my creative output out where people can see it.

Even if I have to do really sloppy and half-assed job of it. Whatever.

Anything worth doing is worth doing badly. A lazy submission beats no submission at all. And who know, maybe the people who do the approving of articles for Vocal will end up being the editor I need in order to shape up as a writer.

I mean, if they say, “Not good enough! Change these three things!”, good. I will change those things and try not to make the same mistakes again.

I am not the type to reject criticism out of hand. My desire to improve is too strong for that. I have to listen because I might just learn something.

Or I might dismiss it as thickheaded nonsense. But I give it a chance.

I haven’t put much on Vocal since I signed up because I let myself get intimidated by the challenge of writing for popular appeal.

But that’s heckin’ dumb. I am a very funny and insightful and appealing writer. True, I am not the sort of person to write “7 Killer Gardening Hacks” or “12 Ways To Force Him To Love You”, but I can write engagingly and interestingly and even adorably, so it’s silly to get hung up on definitions.

So I think I will direct my energies towards Vocal, assuming the storm inside lets me. I don’t know exactly what to write so I will just label it a “column” for now.

That should be vague enough to last until I find my voice.

Speaking of which, I will likely be trying various potential types of article. I am sure I can come up with something with mass appeal.

Maybe a super adorable children’s story series. Will Phil the Ferret and Tanda the Panda get home in time for Jacksie’s wedding? Tune in tomorrow, kids!

That could really work if I could resist the urge to be sarcastic or perverted.

Or both, obviously.

Political commentary would be a natural fit, or really any kind of commentary.

I’m a commentary kind of guy. A commentarian, if you will.

Heck, I might even try being the bitchy fag who dishes celeb gossip a try.

What the hell, if it pays, I’ll do anything. The only kind of writing I won’t do is bad.

Other than that, door’s open, boys.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.