Got a new game called Elex.
But first, I got excited to get a game called Control. It was going to be included in March’s Humble Monthly monthly, and I had been tempted to join that before for reasons, and my friend Maelkoth loved the game, and the game was normally $30-$60(depending on edition) but a Humble Monthly sub was only $17, so I figured I would go for it.
So I signed up for Humble Monthly. In February, so the game wasn’t there yet. But there was only a few days left in February, so I waited.
March 2, that month’s bundle dropped. I tried to acquire Control. It told me I had to sign up for Humble Monthly to get it. Waddy fug?
Turns out, I would have to wait till the end of March for it because all I got for my $17 in February was a month’s worth of access to February’s bundle.
If I wanted access to March’s bundle now, I had to pay AGAIN.
Which I did, despite it now being financially stupid, and got the game, all excited to play it, and woops my computer is too old to play it, god damn it.
Can’t even return it because I didn’t exactly “buy” it.
That shit has got to stop happening. Luckily, with Maelkoth’s help, I think I have learned to read the tea leaves of modern sys reqs, so it should not happen again,
Anyhow. Another game called Elex was in the bundle, and it seemed pretty interesting, so I got it.
And so far it’s very impressive. Its world feels so incredibly real. The rock formations, the sunlight, the dynamic shadows, the grass, the buildings… there is something deeply and ineffably right about them that is downright intoxicating.
It reminds me of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. There are scenes in that movie that seem as real as memory to me, which is apropos.
I haven’t gotten that deep into it because it’s an incredibly deep and rich world and I am still figuring out how to get around, fight, etc.
It’s all so much to take in! But that’s always the case with new games, and new places in general. You just gotta hang in there till you get used to it.
Words to live by.
The game is not merciful. Tried wandering the wilderness with just my beginning weapon and no armor and got eaten by critters a lot.
So much so that when I got killed by an outlaw with a vibro-blade, it made for a refreshing change of pace.
Oh well. I will figure shit out in time. The game’s environment is more than enough to keep me playing long enough to make the learning curve.
It even has a small but substantial mod scene. I may have finally found my new Big Game to keep me busy for a while.
It’s not as good as having an actual life but it will have to do until I build one.
More after the break,
Justice is served!
Via my astounding powers of analysis and deduction, I have caught the rapscallion who stole all that money from my reloadable VISA recently.
It was me. Thankfully, when confronted with the facts, I surrendered peacefully.
It was all the “extrabudgetary spending” I have been doing. I mean, sure, my calculations of my budget earlier this week were spot on.
But i realized today that I fell into the habit of simply assuming I “probably” had enough room left in my weekly budget for whatever little thing I wanted now and then.
Like my B12 seeking orders from Sav-on. Or a video game here and there. Or a thing or two (or ten) from Amazon.ca. You know, little things like that.
And as anyone familiar with the concept of money can tell you, those little things can add up real fast. To the tune of roughly $600 I didn’t know I was spending.
This is what happens when you spend without access to your wallet. Reality drains in favour of what you want to be true, and you end up doing some depressive spending which when you discover it only makes you way more depressed.
Which is where I am right now. The firewall is down and now the self-loathing and frustration and yes, even grief are hitting me, and I deserve them.
There are few things a Taurus like me hates more than waste. And I feel like I had a great thing, a $2000 windfall, and I wasted 30 percent of it on random crap.
And that hits me like a bullet to the heart. I am literally grieving the lost money like it was a beloved relative. I know that might seem silly to less Earth-bound people but for me, losing money really fucking hurts.
Especially because I was really enjoying having that $2000 in the bank. It greatly increased my sense of security. I am the sort of person who has deep emotional ties to his resources and who profits greatly from financial security on an emotional level.
It has never been a mystery to me how Scrooge got the way he did. I am perfectly capable of using money as my security blanket against the world.
Not hard to see how that could turn pathological.
Hence, I now feel a great deal more vulnerable.
And I know what the rational position is. It’s not like I desperately needed that money. I had no big plans for it. The loss will have little impact on my daily life.
Heck, in this space, I even said it was fine if I just frittered it away on this and that once.
That statement was based on the assumption that I did so knowingly, though.
Ah well. This too shall pass. I will get over it and move on.
Maybe I should spend the rest of my windfall before I waste it, too.
Nah. That would only lead to more regret.
And I got plenty.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.