Feeling pretty sick.
For one thing, sleep is seriously kicking my ass. I am very very fried right now and the sad thing is that this is still better than I felt earlier, after Sleep Part 1.
Not by a lot, granted. But by a small, measurable, noticeable amount.
I got all the old familiar symptoms.
I feel like I was squished flat and am but very slowly regaining my third dimension.
I feel very hot all over, like I have a sauna inside me.
I feel quite dizzy and have vertigo. When I move my head, I can feel stuff sloshing around. No surprise there : I have been out of my antihistamine for days now. It’s Friday. Took my last dose Tuesday morning.
Presumably, by now I got a head fulla goo.
I’m also pretty disoriented and dissociated. Focusing on making the words come out is very hard for me right now and I feel quite lost.
I really wish the world would stop shifting around while I’m not looking.
Dunno if I will make it out to McD’s tonight. Prognosis is poor. Right now all I want to do is crawl back into bed and go back to sleep.
Actually, that’s not strictly true. What I want to do is wake the fuck up. But I don’t see that as an option right now.
I wish it was. As usually happens after sleep apnea has been truly abusing me, I’m actually kind of scared of my bed right now.
After all, I just got my ass kicked there.
There’s bound to be some negative associations made.
Makes me wish I had set up that little nest on the patio. A nap in the fresh air sounds blissfully wondrous right now.
But no such luck for me. It’s back into the Sarlaac pit for me now.
More after the first break.
Feeling somewhat better after Sleep Part 3.
Now I merely feel like I just ran a marathon underwater. So ya know… progress.
Still pretty hard to stay focused on the screen, though. I have drifted away three times already and I am barely fifty words in. I can tell that when I am done, i am doing to have to sleep still more.
I ain’t out of the woods yet. Thank god this path only goes one way. I will get there eventually but for now, all I can do is keep my head down and keep plodding along.
Luckily, I’m very good at plodding. I’m an excellent plodder.
Right now I am chalking this suffering up to my usual catching up on sleep debt bullshit. That seems like the most probable explanation.
Bit I also feel like there’s some gunk in my lungs and i get this weird sucking feeling in my bladder when I pee.
So there might be something else going on at the same time. it could also be that this particular round of catch-up was kicked off by something worse.
And of course, being a potentially serious medical issue, it had to happen on a Friday so that I can’t take it to my GP, Doctor Chao, so it’s the ER or nothing.
Well there’s always walk-in clinics, but I don’t trust those at all.
More after the second break.
There can be no more doubt
I am definitely sick.
I know I’m sick because, having slept all day, I am finally awake enough to realize how terrible I feel.
My appetite is gone. Which is a bitch because it’s 8:19 pm and I really should eat supper around now but I can’t even imagine food without feeling like I wanna barf.
So that’s going to be a challenge. I get the feeling that I am in that unenviable position of having no choice but to do something I know is terminally stupid, namely skip a meal.
I am not giving up yet, though. Not before going out to the kitchen and trying to strategize a meal for myself.
That means looking at the food available to me and figuring out what nauseates me the least and making a meal out of that.
About the only thing I can imagine eating\drinking right now is a Slurpee or Mister Freezie or the like, and that’s probably only because they sound soothing to my rather unhappy stomach lining.
Yeah, I have a serious case of the grumpy tum right now.
Sorry if my use of the proper scientific terms is confusing you.
At least my tummy is quiet right now. There’s just a dull ache in the pit of it, and a vague but menacing feeling of pre-nausea when I move and the contents shift about.
Also pretty sure I am running a fever. I sure as fuck feel hot. Which is why I am going to to what I can to stay hydrated. Not only to keep from getting dehydrated – because there’s nothing dehydration can’t make worse – but to keep myself sweating.
Time to go make my rounds.
Rounds complete. Got up, took a pee – still feels kinda weird. Opened the window in the bathroom a little more in order to lower ambient temp.
We will see how that works out. Right now I am in the loathed state of feeling cold on the outside and hot on the inside, meaning that turning a fan on myself or otherwise cooling shit down might make things too cold for my outside and the cold will not reach my overheated inside.
Clearly, my layers are not communicating.
Then I went to the kitchen and refilled my water and got myself a nice cold crisp apple. It’s hardly a meal but it’s infinitely better than nothing.
I mean, that’s just math.
I tried to get myself interested in other foods, but nerp. Not even the pre-cooked bacon looked good to me, and that shit’s awesome.
So I am going to eat my apple, take my Metformin and Glyburide plus maybe some Tylenol just on general principle, then (heavy sigh) lay down again.
Times like this, I feel like the best thing about being rich and living in a mansion would be having dozens of bedrooms at my disposal so when get sick of (and in) my own bed, I can go sleep in another while they change the bedding and air out the first.
Some people dream of hobnobbing with movie stars and driving around in a limo.
I dream of fresh bedding whenever I want it.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.