Well this morning’s mission to rescue my money from the evil clutches of my behind the times bank credit union could not have gone much worse.
Not without involving terrorists and/or spontaneous human combustion.
It started off wrong when I woke up at 10:06 am. Fuck! I just started my day and I am already behind schedule.
I apologized to Julian as I went to retrieve a shirt.
What followed was me realizing I would have to do a buch of walking around just to get ready to go.
Accompanying this was the realization that I was out of clean clothes.
So yay, I got to get into dirty clothes! I just love that!
But I had no choice, so I just fucking did it. Luckily, I was already in a shitty mood, and those really help when you have to do something you don’t want to do.
I was in no mood to put up with my own whiny bullshit about eww it’s so gross, maybe we should wait, wah wah wah.
Shut the fuck up. We’re doing this.
Said my internalized angry dad.
Then I spent twenty goddamned minutes just looking for my belt. At least that gave my legs time to recharge after moving around to get clothes and to pee.
Not at the same time, of course. Ha ha.
It wasn’t until a little after 10:45 am that I was ready to go. When we had originally planned on leave at 10 am!
Son of a bitch.
The trip down to the car was brutal. I had not fully recovered from moving around my room to get ready, and the pain in my legs was redlining by the time I got into the car.
Pretty sure I was mere seconds from going flop-butt.
I am learning to pay real close attention to when the pain in my legs goes twitchy. That is what heralds another incident of my knees giving up on me for a bit.
Would be particularly bad if it happened between here and the car.
There would be no helpful hospital worker to help me into a wheelchair.
Anyhow, so we go to the bank. Julian says he will repark, and I say “Great, I will go in and find someplace to sit. ”
So I do that. Find a nice comfy chair where I can sit and wait for Julian to come in and wait in line for me.
And wait. And wait. And wait.
Finally it dawns on me that he has completely forgotten that he was supposed to come into the bank with me. And I have no way of reminding him because it’s not like I can go out to the car and tell them then make it back inside THEN stand while I do my transactions. And I have no smartphone (yet) with which to text him.
I’m thinking of getting a phablet.
So now I am sitting there fuming and waiting for there to be a free teller with nobody else waiting for it.
Luckily it’s quite slow in the ol’ bank pretentious bank today.
Unluckily, the customers who ARE there are the kind that just hang around doing god knows what – refinancing the national debt I guess.
Still, eventually a slot opens up. Finally! I hobble up to the teller. Angels sing. Bluebirds tweet. The lion lovingly buttfucks the lamb.
Don’t worry, the lamb is WAY into it.
Then I open my wallet and realize that I left my fucking bank card at home so this entire exercise was completely pointless and a waste of my leg mojo.
So we’re gonna have to do the whole thing again on Friday.
I can’t do it again tomorrow because I got Wound Care at 11 am. So I would have to do the bank BEFORE Wound Care and I am pretty sure I do not have nearly enough leg mojo in me to do both.
Gotta make that trip to Regency Pharmacy for crutches or whatever real soon.
More after the break,
It’s a flop
Yay, another of my little falls.
This was the “best” one yet, though, because I was in our tiny kitchen when it happened and therefore had plenty of surfaces in easy reach for me to catch myself on.
Still. Every time this happens it freaks me out.
The world is not supposed to suddenly leap up like that.
Breaking the water habit
Hello, my name is Michael B., and I am addicted…. to water.
I know that sounds absurd, but hear me out.
There is only one way I could have ended up with the sodium deficiency Doc Chao has been on my back about, and that’s by drinking too much water.
Until recently, I didn’t think there was such a thing as drinking too much water. So I was in total denial about cutting back on my water intake.
But then, not long ago, I was thinking about what the symptoms of sodium deficiency would be and I came up with the following :
Well, you’d be thirsty all the time, and need to drink water constantly in order to stay hydrated because without enough sodium, the body can’t retain water properly.
And then it hit me like a 2×4 right between the eyes : I have had those exact symptoms for years now!!
I just never considered it a problem because the “solution” was always right at hand : more water, please.
But I now accept that the constant water drinking habit I picked up to deal with the Silly Con Valley heat has metastasized into something dangerous to my health.
I still haven’t changed my habits though.
Because I know it’s going to be rough. I am going to have to taper off very slowly so that my body has a chance to catch up.
The last thing I want is to be sodium deficient AND dehydrated.
Especially now that we’re in thick of the summer heat.
And it’s not exactly the sort of think where you can quit cold turkey.
I will still need water to live. But I have to get my sodium levels up. The thirst and lack of fluid retention are the most obvious signs of sodium deficiency, but sodium is also an electrolyte and electrolyte deficiencies can fuck you up on a cellular lever because now your body can’t regulate electrical conductivity properly.
You know what that causes? Nerve damage.
Holy batshit, Fatman, I think we’re onto something.
Of course, I can also add more salt to my diet. That seems a lot easier than curbing my habitual water intake.
But I am already on blood pressure meds. So…. maybe not.
I will solve it somehow.
And I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.