Don’t know how many of those I got left.
Just made the kitchen trip to get my very late (5 pm) lunch together and whoa nelly was that a rough one.
It’s getting to the point where I am actually thinking of taking 2 gabapentin next time I dose up instead of one.
I’ve resisted this notion up until now out of fear that it would numb my pain too much and I would ironically find myself unable to walk because of THAT.
Oh, and I suppose that technically you are not supposed to just change your dosage on your meds without the doctor’s permission.
But we all know I am way too intellectually smug for that to stop me.
Still, I am looking down the barrel of a gun here. If I lose my ability to make it to the kitchen three or four times a day, I am going to need actual professional care.
Or at least I am going to need to use that damned walker Joe bought me.
I took a good look at the box when I was out watching stuff with my friends last night, and I am even less hopeful about its prospects re : filling my needs than before.
For one thing, its “feet” are just the exact same sort of “feet” you see on cheap aluminum furniture, which is basically what it is.
I hope that is enough of a description because I can’t come up with a better one.
This gives it precious little surface area in contact with the ground and that means it will apply a great deal of pressure on each of its four little feeties, possibly damaging whatever surface it happens to be on.
Carpet would probably be OK, but I will have to keep it off the linoleum.
And I am still not sanguine about how able to adapt to it I can be. I know I can be very difficult and fussy in situations like this and so I will have to make sure to take things show, go into it knowing it will be frustrating and hard at first, and keep my tendency to fly off the handle and give up on things in a rage when things get tough in check.
Even with that, I am not sure I will make it.
But I will give it a damned good try because I really, really don’t want to have to ask someone else to make my meals and fetch my snacks.
At least I can still make it to the bathroom and back.
Knock on an Amazon rainforest of wood.
But yeah. Two places I need to go : Regency Pharmacy for crutches or whatever, and the god damned Urgent Or Whatever Care Center.
Tomorrow is Sunday. Monday, Doctor Chao comes back from vacation. So basically, I have to go tomorrow in order to have technically complied with his directive to go there while he was away.
Sad, I know.
So I am working up the wherewithal to ask Julian to drop me off at the Richmond Urgent and Primary Care Center at 9 am tomorrow morning.
That’s when they open and therefore my best chance of not having to wait a really long time to see a doctor.
Wish me luck.
More after the break.
It’s getting late
It’s 11:It’s 11:08 pm and I have about 450 words to go, so I had best hustle.
Today has been okay, burtal leg pain aside. Quiet.
Luckily, I have found out how to get extra performance out of my (nonsexual) vibrating massager and can now fairly reliably use it to melt a ton of tension in my back away.
This, in turn, bas greatly improved my sleep, and improved sleep has modestly ikproved my mood, so I am feeling okay-ish.
I’m not turning cartwheels or nothing, but things don’t seem so bad.
Turns out the secret was to press the unit firmly but gently against my spine right in that oh so sensitive and pain prone lumbar area.
Seems obvious when I put it like that, but whatever.
Feels marvelous when all that tension just melts away like snow under a blowtorch.
That turned out more violent than I intended.
Current better mood aside, I’ve been pretty depressed, on and off, for the last few days.
I’ve “coped” with it in the usual way, namely by burying myself in my current video game. Right now, that’s the original Pillars of Eternity.
Played the bejesus out of the sequel, Pillars of Eternity 2 : Deadfire, recently, and throughout the game there are loads of references to the events of the first game and that got me nostalgic for the first one so here we are.
I should mention that I have thoroughly played and beaten both games before but it was so long ago and they are so densely packed with contentthat they are practically new games to me now.
With the additional benefit that I already know I love them both.
Turns out there are benefits to the bain fog of getting older. Go fig.
They are both fantasy RPGs of the sort where you control a band of heroes as they fight the forces of evil and so forth.
The first one is RTWP (Realtime With Pause), which means it is not, technically, turn-based. You fight battles in realtime, which sounds insane when you consider that I have six heroes to manage, but they mostly run on AI scripts so I don’t have to tell them to do every little thing and at any time I can pause the game, issue orders, then resume.
I thought I would hate that, but it’s actually really efficient. It eliminates the need to issue the same commands over and over again for the most basic of things and lets you concentrate on just the times when you need to intervene.
Turns out controlling six heroes at the same time in realtime isn’t so bad when a) they are not idiots and b) you have the power to freeze time.
Well, that’s my words for today. And with more than 20 minutes to spare. Yay me.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.