Right now, my mind is ticking over way too fast due overstimulation (the fun kind) from playing my video game of the moment.
That is Pathfinder : Wrath of the Righteous, of course. A game, you might have noticed, I have been playing for a LOT of moments lately.
LIke about two months’ worth. And to think, I got it for free from my buddy Maelkoth because he got it in some bundle or other when he already had it.
More on that later.
My point was that gaming had left my brain spinning like a wheel of fortune (no caps) and it was going to be hard to get it to slow down enough for me to actually be able to get a topic and some words out of it.
It was like trying to grab something when there is a whirring fan blade in the way.
Luckily., the logeyness that comes from eating slowed me down enough that I could make the rest of the transition on my own, and well, here we are.
Now about my video game addiction…
The other world
That’s how I have been thinking about the issue lately. Like I live in two worlds, one virtual and one real, and I know the virtual one is bad for me because it distorts my entire life around it and makes it impossible for me to lead a normal, healthy, fulfilling life because no matter what, it will always be easier and more fun to just keep playing video games all day than it will ever be to stay in reality and struggle.
Because real life sucks, man. Everything is so hard and so scary and so complicated and the virtual world of video games and hanging out with my fuzzy friends online are none of those things.
Oh, but if you just stick with it and work hard, you can make your dreams come true!
Yeah, so you say. I have grave doubts. After all, I stuck with it and worked hard to get myself through VFS, and that didn’t do jack shit for me except put me $30K in debt and crush all the hope and joy inside me.
I mean, can anyone make the case that I am better off for having done VFS? I would have been better off staying home and writing by myself.
It’s not like I learned much from the driveling dipshits there.
Meanwhile, back at the point…
I don’t have the self-discipline to make myself work harder than I absolutely have to. And I completely lack faith in the idea that it will all be worth it when I succeed.
That’s an awful lot of investment for a very uncertain level of return. Fuck THAT noise.
I just don’t have that in me any more. I used up the last of my hope and faith and belief in myself getting to and through VFS, and it is not coming back.
Instead every day I get fainter and weaker and one of these days my pilot light is going to go out and that will be the end of my stupid fucking life.
And all I can do until that day is fiddle while Rome burns by playing video games.
But no, really. This is fine.
More after the break.
Adventures in (not) ordering out
I ordered me some Subway via Skip the Dishes.
Rotisserie chicken with teriyaki sauce. Yum.
Skip said it had arrived. Boffo. I am alone here so I waited the usual five minutes that my social anxiety demands so there is no chance I will end up meeting my delivery person and have to make awkward small talk and feel awful after.
Being me is really complicated sometimes. Life would be easier if I was braver.
Anyhow, I make it to the door and whaddaya know, no food. Fuck.
I was worried this would happen because when the phone rang, I couldn’t hear anything so I pressed 6 to let the courier in more or less on face.
And at one point the website told me I had a message from said courier and I was about to read it but that’s when the phone rang.
And I was going to read it when I got back from the door cbut the moment the delivery is marked as complete, the screen where I could do that vanished to be replaced by the “how did we do?” survey they’ve had forever.
How did you do? NOT VERY WELL.
And now it’s time for me to get very, very angry because I filled out the “request for refund” form and told them my problem and they TURNED DOWN THE REQUEST.
No refund for me. I paid $24 for absolutely nothing.
It was bad enough when they refused to give me a refund for the Diet Coke that was mostly soda water from my BK order on Tuesday night but this really takes the fucking cake and shoves it up a monkey’s ass.
Clearly, the cunts have taken control at Skip and it is time to take my $60-$100 a week in business somewhere else.
There wasn’t even a delay between asking for the refund and it getting rejected, either. I bet nobody even read it. They just automatically reject everything.
They better hope I don’t figure out how to escalate this issue because I am super pissed off and in the mood to do damage.
Ah ha. A chat with us feature. The plot thickens.
His name is Simrat and he seems sympathetic so far.
But nope, he’s a cunt too. He offered me a highly insulting $5 refund. Meaning those cunts at Skip would still have stolen $20 from me.
If they don’t make this right, they are dead to me.
OK, now they are offering the full refund I wanted from tbe beginning. Taking that as a big W for the little guy.
Well, okay, the big guy. But a little big guy.
But one who is willing to go full on nuclear Karen if I feel mistreated.
Looks like I paid for tomorrow’s food in advance!
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.