I fucked up

But I have a potential excuse.

First, the error : Woke up from a nap at around 3:35 pm. Blearily sat down right here in front of Mister Computer with the intention of fucking around on the Web for a while, just until my usual 4:05 pm lunch time.

But somehow, I ended up lying down and going back to sleep instead.

I don’t remember doing that. I don’t remember deciding to do it either. I just remember waking up ar around 5:45 pm and now here I am.

And that is…. troubling.

And now I feel quite feverish. I feel hot all over and I’m dizzy and incredibly thirsty.

So thirsty that I filled my usual drinking glass with water from the bathroom sink sat down, and drank the whole 1.2 L of water in a matter of minutes.

Got Julian to bring me a can of pop and to refill my drinking glass from the Brita pitcher. That’s something like 1.5 L of fluids total.

Bam. It’s all gone too. Only took slightly longer.

And now I’ve realized that I am incredibly hungry as well. I have already eaten what would be my usual portion of trail mix and now I am eating another equal portion, plus some Vegetable Thins, plus an orange.

And, thank God, that seems to have at least slowed down the Hunger Express.

Oh, and to top it all off, I am having trouble reading what I am writing off the monitor for some reason, and I am committing a fair bit more typos then usual.

I am not well.

I suspect my blood sugar was crashing too. That would explain the mega-hunger and the visual distortion and perhaps the extreme thirst too, although I associate that more with high blood sugar than with low.

But not the feverish symptoms. Those must be something else. Something viral, maybe.

I honestly possibly should have called 911 or gotten Julian to drive me to the ER, but I was far too mentally disjointed and out of phase to even contemplate doing that.

Even getting dressed feels out of reach at the moment.

I seem to have weathered the worst of it, although I suspect I am going to need still more trail mix and crackers before the hunger demon is truly sated.

So I am not feeling at all well. That’s what I am driving at, I guess.

Thus the temporary suspension of my hardcore self-exploration here in the pages of my blog. The blog that is the only thing I’ve actually produced for many years.

It’s OK, I guess.

And people do seem to be impressed when I tell them I write 1K words a day. I have written literally millions of works over the years (do the math) and I sure as hell can’t even imagine stopping .

I mean, what the hell would I even do with myself then? This blog is the only thing holding me together. It gives me something to do every day that is well within my capabilities and that serves my overwhelming need to express myself in words.

Arguably, something more ambitious would serve it even better. But I do what I can.

I have no idea what I just survived an attack of. Low blood sugar, for sure, and dehydration, but what caused those remains a mystery.

As is what led to me taking that weird extra nap. Like, WTF was up with that? I don’t like blank spaces in my memories. They disturb me.

Of course, I am going to be monitoring myself for more weirdness and if things get bad, I am going to call 911.

Now I am going to lay down and sleep.

This time, on purpose.

My life is so weird.

More after the break.


Another late meal

Seeing as I had “lunch” at 5:45 pm, it should come as no surprise to you that I am here eating my “supper” at 9:45 pm.

Well, at least the 45s line up.

The good news is that I feel one hell of a lot better now. Whatever weird fit overtook me earlier seems to have vanished as mysteriously as it appeared.

It’s not 100 percent gone. I still feel a little overheated, and I’m a tiny bit dizzy. But at least the rapacious hunger and throat-parching thirst are gone.

So I am back to the sad state that is my “normal”.

And this time, I did lay down to sleep on purpose, which is good, but when I woke up I realized I hadn’t set an alarm or even looked at what time it was first.

Which is unlike me. And that’s troubling.

But it’s all over now so I can just forget the whole thing ever happened and go on with my life exactly like I always do!

Not the smart way to live, granted, but if I ran to my doctor or the ER or Urgent Care every time my health did something weird, I would basically never leave.

Not to mention what that would do to my latent hypochondria.

Ergo, I have to be judicious about what constitutes an emergency.

Or if not judicious, at least flippant.

Hopefully I well be good to go (g2g) for tomorrow’s Wound Care appointment. I’ve been getting pain in the wound on my left foot again, so I look forward to a dressing change.

Seems to happen more when I am wearing my beloved “hospital socks”, otherwise adorably known as “Padded Paws”, the cozy non-slip socks that they get you to wear in Richmond Hospital so that you don’t end up slipping and sliding on the floor.

I love these socks. But I get the feeling that I should never wear them for more than a day, otherwise the hurting starts.

Normally, I only change my socks when I am changing my clothes to go out of the apartment, and that only happens three times a week.

I probably should fix that. I am sure Julian would not mind washing more socks. It would make so little difference to his workload.

And my feet would thank me.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.