I…think I’m getting better?
Today’s still been pretty damned nasty. Incidents of “leakage”, having to clean up as best as I can in the times where I feel somewhat better. going through a hell of a lot of TP and Kleenex, not being able to eat much at all.
Makes me really wonder what the heck is going on with me. I can only assume that I’ve had a stomach bug of some sort, although food poisoning is also possible.
You know, that’s a pretty fucked up thing to call that particular ailment when you think about it. Food poisoning.
That’s not a disease, that’s a crime!
Anyhow, despite various levels of unpleasantness, I don’t feel nearly as sick as I did 24 hours ago. In fact I feel fairly okay. So I am hoping that means that the primary cause of this being a very shitty weekend (literally) has left the building.
Which is a better prognosis than I was giving myself earlier today. Yesterday, it also kind of seemed like I was getting better but then my recovery seemed to stall so I was worried that I might have to go to the ER or UC after all.
I mean, this is not a healthy state to be in. Even if I hadn’t gotten any worse, living without being able to eat and never knowing when “leakage” might occur and feeling vaguely toxic is simply not sustainable.
In fact, I’m kind of amazed that I haven’t had a big blood sugar crash. But I suppose the fact that I’ve not been able to do much beside listen to YouTube videos throughout this ordeal helped with that.
I definitely need to get some solid nutrition into me ASAP. I think that right now, my system’s mainly unhappy with me because it’s empty. Digestive systems don’t like being empty, especially mine, plus it means I don’t have a lot of nutrients on hand in order to help with rebuilding things.
So I am pondering getting myself cleaned up and going to Denny’s with Le Gang. Might seem like an odd choice given what I have been through in the last couple of days but it would give me access to a broad spectrum of nutrition for relatively little effort and it would do me some good to hang out with my friends after two days of isolation.
But I’m not committing to Denny’s just yet. I’m going to get up and move around some first and see how that feels.
Because I would die of shame if I was in our little home away from home at Denny’s when I suffer a “containment breach”.
That simply does not bear thinking upon.
If I don’t end up going to Denny’s, I will likely end up ordering in. Heck, I could even order in from Denny’s if I wanted to.
I have a real hankering for a turkey dinner right about now.
The important thing is nutritional intake. There’s only so long I can keep going on plain potato chips and the occasional cookie.
And not that many of those, either.
I also have trail mix, but my body is totally not ready to be digesting nuts right now. I tried eating some trail mix earlier only to get that “hot gravel” feeling again.
Honestly I just want this whole thing to be over. It’s been a miserable (and deeply disgusting) couple of days and I just want to get back to my life.
Maybe that’s the silver lining to this ordeal : I appreciate my usual humdrum low affect event free life more now.
Because things can always be worse.
More after the break.
Well this is different
I kind of miss this afternoon.
Because back in those halcyon days I felt like I was almost well again and that soon I would be healthy enough even to go to Denny’s.
But the wheels started coming off that bus around 5:45 when I began to feel these chills. Uh oh, I thought.
Yet I managed to hold on to hope all the way to eating some McD’s while on Zoom with Julian and Felicity. I thought, surely I will feel a lot better once I get some food into my and my system can start rebooting.
Not so much.
Turns out I just feel terrible in a new and exciting way now.
For starters, I did not making it very far into my McD’s. I managed to eat around 2/3 of my Big Mac and a handful of fries before my stomach gremlins caught up to me and I had no choice but to stop.
The problem seems to specifically be a stomach thing. Things would be fine up top and more or less fine down below but the period where the food was actually in my stomach was not so good.
And the chills keep coming. And I hate having the chills. There is something so profoundly soul-destroying about feeling like there is a cold wind blowing directly through your bone marrow
While, of course, also feeling like you’re under a heat lamp on the surface.
Bit of a cock-up on the bodily thermostat front.
So I dunno what the fuck is going on with me but you can be damned sure I am keeping an eye on things in case they should take a turn for the worse.
Metaphorically speaking, I’m holding the phone with “9-1” already dialed.
The most frustrating thing is that I am still operating on insufficient nutrition. I mean, I am glad I got some Big Mac into me but I’m still running on close to empty.
But I cannot imagine being able to force myself to eat at this point. Not only do I feel nauseous and overheated I also have a serious headache and, of course, chills.
I need to get myself one of those massive bottles of 500 ibuprofen and maybe some antihistamines or anti-inflammatories.
Man am I sick of being sick.
But hey, at least I’ve learned that these are a thing.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.