Before they kill you.

I was talking to a young person the other day, and they mentioned that they felt they had to master the math they would have to take before they went back to college, and that um…. triggered me.

All I could see was a young person making the same mistakes I made and that lead me to being a 42 year old freshman, and as you may know, seeing a young person about to make the same mistake you made is intensely painful to older people.

I mean, serious, what the fuck’s the point of life if your experiences don’t improve the lot of the next generation? That’s how civilization works, goddamn it!

Let them at least make fresh, new, interesting mistakes!

The pain goaded me into action, and I may have um…. overexpressed myself. In other words, I probably came on way, way too strong with this young person and instead of this being some kind of magnificent generational torch-passing Teachable Moment, it probably came across to them as “This crazy old person is trying to make me feel bad about stuff”.

Lesson learned. Those were powerful emotions. Next time, I will remember to check myself.

But that got me thinking about what I was trying to get across to that young person, and so that’s what I am going to try to tell you tonight.

Lose your excuses. Excuses kill.

Anybody can come up with an excuse not to do something they don’t feel like doing. That’s because when you are looking for an excuse, you will take the first one that comes along. People looking for a way out are not too fussy about which one they take.

So any excuse will do. There are people out there leading miserable lives because they are hiding from the world behind miserable excuses. There are people out there doing the rough equivalent of winning the lottery but never cashing the check because then they’d have to put on shoes.

And there’s a reason for that. When you are looking for an excuse, all you are doing is looking for the fastest, easiest way out of the psychological conflict between knowing you want to do something and knowing you are too scared to actually do it.

And that’s an easy fix… if you ignore all sense of proportion, reason, or reality. That’s how degraded your thought process has to be to be willing to stoop to hide behind such tiny excuses.

Ask yourself this question : is this issue insurmountable, or just painful and/or scary? What exactly are you giving up by using this excuse? Is it really not worth enough for you to move out of your comfort zone and actually do something you don’t feel like doing? Are you really saying that pursuing your dreams, whatever they may be, is so scary to you that you would rather be permanently unhappy than be temporarily out of your comfort zone? Is that really the deal you are making with life?

Take it excuse by excuse. Think of something you dream of doing, and why you are not doing it, then ask yourself : if this excuse was removed from the equation… would I do it? Would I feel like doing it? Or would you just look for another excuse?

This is a serious question. Does imagining all your excuses gone… whatever it takes to remove them, whether it’s money, opportunity, or time travel.. gone make you feel happy? Or does it make you feel scared? Exposed? Make you desperately look around for something else to hide behind?

If it makes you feel scared an exposed, ask yourself why. Might it be that if all your excuses vanished, you would actually have to do it?

Notice how these excuses never have a quantity attached to them. That’s because quantities can be compared, and that might lead to you concluding that you really should follow your dreams. And I’m not talking five decimal places with three significant digits, either.

I am just talking about the kind of quantitative notion that lets you make a conscious decision about whether or not something is worth the cost. It doesn’t have to involve any number at all. All it has to do is let put the rewards on one side of the scale, and the costs on the other, and decide which is greater.

If you do this, you will find your wall of excuses is paper thin and easily demolished. That does not, I admit, mean it will be a painless or happy experience. Losing your illusions never is. But the reward is that you will be free of your chains and be able to find the motivation to demolish those excuses for real. You will see them as the solvable problems they are, and be able to move yourself in the right direction, the one that leads to you being happy, strong, and fulfilled.

You have it within yourself to become the kind of person you have always wanted to be. View your former excuses as solvable problems instead of insurmountable obstacles. It’s not a list of excuses, it’s a to-do list of the steps you need to take before you are free. Once you stop clinging to your excuses, you may be surprised to see how small and easily solved, or even outright dismissed, they are.

And don’t worry about leaving the life you know now. That life was never meant for you anyhow. Not the REAL you. You might have gotten distracted for a while, but now you are right on track and that sad person you used to think you were can be left behind like the clothes you wore as a child.

And you’re too big for both of them now.

Kill your excuses. Leave your comfort zone behind. Throw open the door to your prison and walk outside.

The world is waiting for you.

All you have to do is let it in.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.