Did the Wound Care thing this AM.

Went fine. Uneventful. My nurse was quite pleasant.

But now I am in a fair bit of pain. Moreso than the previous time I went to the CCC.

So now I have to face the problem that led to my needing home care : I don’t recover from the previous Wound Care appointment before the next rolls around.

Ergo, some time soonish I will reach the point where I am in too much pain to make the appointments and therefore need home care again, and will have to ask for it from them, knowing they might not be inclined to grant it.

I’m not looking forward to THAT.

But it’s not like I have a choice. Like before, I am not going to cripple myself in order to better fit into their busy schedules. I will have to tell them that it’s home care or no care once again and that’s the bottom line.

If they still say no, then I will have to make do with whatever primitive ministrations I can perform on myself.

I am sure Shopper’s sells Band-Aids big enough to suffice. Might not be all that neat and tidy a job, especially compared to a nurse’s deft touch, but it will get the job done.

I took my Gabapentin and naproxenand it helped, but I am still in pain.

This will not do.

Hopefully, the pain will subside once I am not sitting in this hard FUCKING chair any more and can lie down and rest my bits.

More after the break.

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It did get better

The pain has settled down to a persistent dull stiff ache now, thank goodness. I was able to get some sleep, and that helped.

Still gonna try the Zopiclone thing once I get Julian to do some pill chopping for me. I am not capable of snapping the Z’s 8n half myself due to the damage diabetic neuropathy has done to the nerves in my hands.

Just what I needed, something to make me even clumsier.

The quest for the keys

I’ve been trying to buy a wireless keyboard off Amazon today.

Wireless, because that is a probable solution to my keyboard issues. Hopefully whatever has been fucking with my computer keyboards can’t reach out over a wireless connection to work its evil magic.

Trying, because the first time I ordered it, my credit card got declined. So I am ordering it again in hopes that it was just some transitory fluke.

This is the card I can’t check the balance on, though. So it could be insufficient funds.

If it bounces again, I am just going to have to bite the bullet and temporarily abandon whatever is left on the current card by registering the new one.

I still have a card qith $500 on it that we bought after I went to the bank last Friday that is just waiting for me to use up the balance on the new one before I register it.

If I register it now, odds are that all traces of the old one will disappear and whatever was left on it will be gone, gone, gone.

That would be a loss of something like $60~ bucks, I think. Suboptimal.

But & may have no choice.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.

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Just woke up. All blurry and disoriented and out of breath as is usual when I have managed to get some actual sleep.

I can never get ahead. Never. All I can do is rearrange tne ways things suck.

I have, at least, been sleeping better lately. Which is ironic because I haven’t even taken any Zopiclone yet.

It’s as if the mere threat of medication made my sleep straighten up and fly right.

So the quality is up. The quantity, however, still stinks, as does the duration.

Can’t stay asleep for more than two hours max. Which sucks, as patent readers know. It’s not nearly enough time to get the benefits of deep sleep and it shows.

God damn is it hard to stay focused on the screen right now. And remember what the fuck I was talking about.

So as I was saying, independent research into hay markets confirms that…

Sorry. Wrong blog.

Seriously, writing right now feels like every word is being yanked from my skull by a dentist who doesn’t believe in anesthetic.

Anyhow, I called this entry the edge of reality because all this post sleep muzziness has got me thinking about the edges of my own personal subjective reality and how close to each other they are.

I often feel like a wise man on a mountain top, full of wisdom nobody will ever hear. because I am so isolated, able to see all and feel none ofit.

More after the break.

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On being lame

This year’s Halloween fireworks display just ended and I am feeling particularly glum.

Because there we could hear it quite well because they set them off near City Hall which is just a couple of blocks away.

But we couldn’t see a damned thing because there’s an apartment building in the way.

And due to my being half-crippled and perennially clueless, there was nothing I could do to fix that.

See, I always forget that for some weird reason, they do fireworks on Halloween ’round here. So I never think about them until I hear them happening.

By then, of course, it’s too late. Even if I was young and fit and had a bicycle, and pedaled like mad as soon as I heard the first pop, the whole thing is only ten minutes long so I would miss at least half of it.

As is, the only way I will ever get to see the damned things is if I start planning it way ahead of time so I could get a good spot and park myself there.

And ya know, arrange to be transported there as there is no way I could journey there on foot. At the very least, I would need a taxi,

And the thing is, I really love fireworks. Have since I was a wee lad. So to have them going on so tantalizingly close was particularly hard on me.

I absolutely hate feeling like everyone is having fun without me. I remember how much I hated it as a little kid when I would be sent to bed while the rest of the family was still awake and watching TV together.

I still burn with outrage and frustration just thinking about it.

You don’t understand! I NEED THOSE GOOD VIBES!

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.

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