That’s how this life of mine feels most of the time.
Like I am drowning in a pool of unwashed emotions. A stale and stagnant cesspool, steaming and slimy and slick, choking on its own endlessly recirculating waters that are now so impossibly filthy that there is no object in the universe they could wash clean.
And as for myself, where do you think all that filth came from? It might be contaminated but I am the contaminant. Filth prime, if you will.
And why is everything so damn dirty? Because the system is sealed. Clean water can’t get in, Dirty water can’t can’t get out. All that can happen is that the same old dirty dishwater keeps spinning round and round, accumulating my shed waste and stewing my flesh in my own toxicity.
And as for my all powerful brain, it pickled itself in its own brine a long, long time ago.
It’s still alive there in its dusty old jar. And just as dazzlingly brilliant as ever. Why just look at those chromatic tongues of electricity arcing across its surface!
Too bad it can’t make a signal strong enough for anyone to hear.
Damned busted antenna.
And in the middle of it all lies me, the real Michael John Bertrand, drowning slowly and losing my grip on reality and sanity and life.
And oh, how badly a part of me wants to just let the slender tether slip from my cold-numbed fingers so I can slip beneath the surface and finally finish drowning already.
But so far I’ve been far too scared of dying to do that. So far.
Who knows, maybe I’ll just go crazy instead.
More after the break.
She does cabinetry by instinct – she’s counter intuitive.
I know this is sacrilegious, but if I had a llama , I`d name it Dalai.
Humanism is love.
Love for your fellow human beings. Not for what they can do for you. Not for what they can give to you. Not for how they make you feel.
But for being human, just like you. The true humanist sees beneath the social illusion and thus visits the hearts and mind of others and sees that beneath our social masks and all the other superficial details we hold so dear we are all the same.
We’re all just drunken monkeys stumbling through the dark and fumbling around looking for a way out… or maybe just the light switch.
We’re all people with jobs trying to cope. Nobody has all the answers. Not the Pope ot the Dalai Lama or even Beyoncé. When you look beyond your social programming, you see that everyone is coping just about as well as you are, and that the ones who seem to have it all figured out are simply those more skilled at social mimicry than you.
And you have to ask, why do they feel the need to seem so perfect?
Once you truly see and accept that the humanity in me is the same as the humanity in you and in everyone else, you will find that many of the illusions that drive us apart and force us into conflict with one another simply melt away.
You now understand that the unity of humanity – one tribe, one voice, one spirit – is not some distant, lofty ideal but the living truth of human existence, and it is only our worthless illusions that keep us from seeing and feeling this universal truth.
So open your hearts, brothers and sisters, and let the sun shine in.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow .