It’s what it sounds like.
Namely, it’s the tendency to reflexively withdraw into oneself, like a turtle retreating into its shell, in response to danger, threat, stress, and so on.
The problems with this stratagem are obvious. The number of situations where turtling up would actually help the situation is vanishingly small, and for the rest it can only make things worse, or at best, leave the problem unaddressed.
But the response persists because in an immediate and very short term sense, it “works”. If you frame the problem as being scared by seeing something upsetting, withdrawing from the situation makes that problem go away by subjectively moving the problem further away, outside the shell, where it’s a lot less scary.
It’s a lot like running away from the problem, but with the added bonus of not actually having to do anything or go anywhere.
And once you have turtled up, the problem doesn’t even seem like a problem any more. So you are certainly in no hurry to lower your defenses so you can go deal with the problem you just “escaped”.
You’ll just wait for the problem to go away, like you really are a turtle and are ecaping a predator you hope is too hungry to be patient.
And maybe you check to see if the problem is still there now and then, at least at first. But eventually you just stop checking because checking only upsets you. Much easier to just accept that the problem is there permanently and there is nothing you can do about it so you might as well get comfy in your shell.
And it’s true, there really is nothing you can do about it…. not without coming out of your shell first, and by now, all nuance has disappeared and to you, opening your shell now means death, or something even worse.
And that’s bad – you are now permanently trapped in your shell because you either can’t or won’t actually face reality and deal wiith your problem.
Oh, but it gets so much worse.
Because that’s just one response to one threat. What happens when the next threat comes around, and the next, and the one after that?
Each time a threat comes along, you retreat deeper and deeper into yourself and go further and further away from reality and any ability to actually deal with the issue.
And with each layer of retreat, you get smaller and smaller, because each iteration has to fit inside the previous one like a Russian nesting doll.
And as you get smaller and further away from reality, you get weaker, because with each layer of retreat you get further away from the sun’s life-sustaining rays.
All the love and joy and happiness you want lies waiting for you… OUTSIDE THE SHELL. And as long as you keep thinking that to leave the shell behind means death (or worse), you will continue to be trapped in there.
Time to open those pod bay doors and step out into outer space, Commander.
You can even bring your shell with you if you wanna.
And you will be so glad you did it.
You know, I think I have the makings of a pretty good children’s book here.
More after the break.
Repeaat after me : I won’t die if I open up.
I Wont’ Die If I Open Up
I WON’T DIE IF i OPEN UP
And the real me won’t die if I melt, either.
I am not Icarus. My wings won’t melt if I get too close to the sun.
And I have been freezing out here in the outer reaches of the solar system for far too long. I need more sunshine. I need more warmth. I need more LIGHT.
It’s time to assume a lower orbit.
Set the controls for the heart of the sun.
And now, a poem :
I was craving onion rings
So I said, “I’ll order Burger King!”
But couldn’t find a Whopper on the page
So I ordered me some chicken thing
To accompany my onion rings
And wrote these silly rhymes to quell my rage
I am serious. There was no way to order a normal Whopper on the Skip the Dishes menu for BK.
There were Double Whoppers and Triple Whoppers galore, but abolutely no way to get a regular single Whopper.
I felt like I was going crazy. Like I was about to have a Falling Down moment.
This is one more instance from becoming a “thing” with me. It started with the Denny’s ,menu, with every burger being a double burger by default.
But I don’t want a double burger, god damn it. That’s too much meat. It totally throws off the balance of burger and toppings too.
So give me my fucking single patty burger god dammit.
This is America’s fault, isn’t it? Them and their ever growing gluttony. Some probably crunched the numbers and figured out that most people were ordering double burgers anyhow, presumably because they now think single burgers are gay or whatever.
If they ever stop serving regular Big Macs in favour of doubles, I really will storm the local McD’s and totally go Walter from The Big Lebowski on their asses.
I have literally delivered that “we live in a SOCIETY” speech, word for word, in my head.
That, and certain parts of a bit of Pathfinder DLC I recently played, has revealed to me that when push comes to shove, I am fundamentally a lawful dude.
I want a peaceful society where everything is handled smoothly and efficiently and everyone can get along with the help of the rules.
Good rules can do that. They let us cranky beach apes live together harmoniously despite our aggressive tendencies.
Bad rules just get in the way, or make things worse.
So I am definitely a lawful guy, but I pick and choose which laws I obey.
Neutral Good, all the way.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.