So I am stuck doing another goddamned Hero’s Journey project. I can’t believe I had totally forgotten how hard I had found the first one. I was even the person who suggested that I do that part of our presentation. Now that seems like volunteering to test caskets “in the field”. What the hell was I thinking?

I mean… I actually said to my partner that I was looking forward to doing something besides the Seven Pillars of the good ol’ Three Act Structure for a change. D’OH! I am not well suited to taking a long and complex story and cramming it into an artificial structure. Doing it with the Seven Pillars is bad enough. But the Hero’s Journey monomyth has twelve steps and goddamn, not every movie fits it.

So tonight, I’m going to finally do my little spoof of the whole thing as a way of getting satirical revenge on the goddamned thing.

Oh, what Joseph Campbell hath wrought!

Anyhow, here it is :

Act 1. Ordinary World

Me : Here I am, relaxing and petting my pet wombat.

Act 2. Call to Adventure

Me : Oh no, someone stole my wombat! I must get him back!

Act 3. Refusal of the Call

Me : Oh, but I can’t go…. it’s Ficus Watering Night. And they look so thirsty!

Act 4. Visiting the Mentor

Me : Oh Great Wafflesnausage In The Sky! I pray to thee for guidance!
Booming Voice : Go to your wombat! This, I command!
Me : ..but what about my thirsty ficii?
Booming Voice : Look again, true believer, and see! FOR THEY HAVE ALREADY BEEN WATERED!
Me : It’s a MIRACLE! Well, off I go, then!

Act 5. Crossing the First Threshold

Me : This is a perfect chance to FIRE UP MY NEW SMART CAR! Finally, the world of electric motoring will be mine to embrace!

Act 6 : Tests, Allies, Enemies

Test : THIS IS A TEST! Who played “Bull” Shannon on Night Court!
Me : Richard Moll, of course!
Test : CORRECT! You may pass.
Me : Oh good. Hey, who are you?
Ally : My name is Ally, and I am moved by your cause, for I too have lost a wombat! I will travel with you and help you find your wombat!
Me : Why, thank you! Now that just leaves…
Enemy : Grrr! I am Enemy, and it is I who took your wombat! If you want it back, you must face me in my own domain! Namely, my double wide trailer parked in the back yard of 1117 West Pender, just past the 7-11 with the burned out 7, so it’s now just a -11.
Me : I think I know the place. Across the street from the Piano Tuner’s museum?
Enemy : THAT IS THE PLACE!
Me : Right, then. I know the place. There’s a really good Dim Sum place near there.
Enemy : You mean Have Some Dim Sum, voted Vancouver’s Best in 1992, and that now features a twenty course meal made from fresh local ingredients and curated by the Food Network’s Rhonda Chow?
Me : No, the other one. Pender Dim Sum.
Enemy : They’re good too. Now where was I? Oh right…. FACE ME IF YOU DARE! MUA HA HA HA ETCETERA!

Act 7 : Approaching the Inner Cave

Me : Well there it is… the Double Wide of Doom! I must be cautious!

Act 8. Ordeal

Enemy : You fool! Now that I have you in my clutches I will show you no mercy! Now, SUFFER!
Me : Ow! Stop poking me with your garden gnome! It’s really pointy!

Act 9 : Getting the Reward

Me : Ah HA! At long last, I have been reunited with my wombat! But at what cost? Enemy has escaped and my wombat is DEAD!

Act 10 : The Road Back

Ally : Your wombat is only mostly dead!
Me : Then we must take it to the 24 Hour Wombat Hospital!

Act 11 : Resurrection

Wombat Doctor : Live, you magnificent rodent! CLEAR! *defibrillator zap*
Me : It worked! My wombat is ALIVE!

Act 12 : Returning with the Elixir

Wombat Doctor : Thanks to you, we now know defibrillators work on wombats!
Me : Aaaaand…. scene! *elaborate bow*

Well that was fun. Now that I have gotten that out of my system, maybe I can relax and focus on the task at hand without feeling overwhelmed.

What I am going to do is go through the script for The Incredibles and use it to create a very basic plot outline/beat sheet for the movie, and from there, I will hopefully be able to pick out the ones that fit the steps. Or that I can, at least, plausibly argue fit the steps.

It’s a great movie and it feels wrong to force it into some formulaic straitjacket. My natural resistance to what I consider to be an artificial structuring device kicks in and I want to just throw my hands up in disgust and refuse to do it.

Not an option, obviously. Even if I didn’t care about my own VFS career (and I do, very much so), I couldn’t do that to my partner. But that’s my emotional impulse nevertheless.

Today was a little rough on the nerves, because I had to do my presentation for a different subject with the other Michael in my class, Class 52. And while I do not suffer from stage fright most of the time, the group that went before us was so good that it made me feel intensely self-conscious about ours and so I had a panic attack and for a few minutes there, really, really, really. did not want to do it.

But we did it anyhow, and now it’s done, and I can stop worrying. And once I get this Hero’s Journey shit done, I am done for the term.

Speaking of terms, we were given our schedule for next term today, and it looks awesome. I will be taking such things as TV Spec (writing a spec script for Brooklyn 99 or Bob’s Burgers… keen gear!), Writing for Animation (something I would love to do… it’s an elective but I will probably take it anyhow), and the ultimate course for me… Sketch.

Yup, I am going to get to write sketches and call it schoolwork.

What a great gig!

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.