Some people wonder who they are.
Me, I wonder what I am.
Because I have never even heard of another person even remotely like me.
There have been people I somewhat identified with – like a pre-billionaire Elon Musk, for example – but nobody that I felt was the same kind of critter I am.
That’s a testament to just how alienated I am from the rest of humanity.
And part of that is no doubt due to my sky high IQ. I am simply not on the same mental plane as the rest of humanity., and I never have been.
And I am all too aware of the power differential this creates. With a mind like mine, I could easily overwhelm, bully, dominate, cheat, or even torment others and they would be powerless to resist me.
Luckily for both my soul and the fate of those I encounter, the very notion of doing anything like that fills me with sadness and nausea.
When you’re as empathetic as I am, to hurt others is to hurt yourself. I would feel the pain and fear of my victims very keenly, and I’m no masochist.
Still, the power imbalance leads to a lot of tension when I am interacting with normal people. There are always a lot of weird thoughts and unacceptable impulses going through my head and making it hard for me to concentrate on the conversation.
No wonder I’m so socially anxious.
In fact, part of me, namely my long neglected id, always wants to flip out and go on a rampage like some kind of intellectual King Kong.
Just leave me the hell alone! Grrrraaaaar!
More after the break.
Loss of balance
I have a weird and vexing financial problem.
Somehow, the last time I registered one of these Pay Power cards I use to shop online, the card got registered with the system – I’ve used it numerous times since then – but didn’t register with their website, leading to the absurd situation I find myself in now where I can spend the money but I can’t check my balance.
So I have no idea how much moolah I got left on there. None whatsoever . Could be $125. Could be $20. I have no way of knowing.
But I would still like to spend it. So all I can do is try to spend it and see if it comes back as insufficient funds.
If it doesn’t, great, Money successfully spent.
But if it does, all I can do is take note of the amount attempted and try spending less and less until it finally goes through.
Which is ridiculous and makes me seem like I am trying to get away with something.
And that rankles every bourgeoisie bone in my body. Me? A criminal? Preposterous!
Jokes aside, I do take a lot of pride in my honesty. Very Taurus of me. We tend to think people should be able to tell how honest and forthright we are just by looking at us.
Even though we tend to be somewhat paranoid and suspicious of others ourselves.
I suppose I could handle being suspected of something if it was coming from the same sort kf general paranoia as my own.
After all, I am spooky smart.
Just in time for Halloween!
Fruvous shouts, “Boo!” very intelligently.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.