See above. I am still pretty sleepy and have a tendency to drift off at odd moments
Basically, in order to stay awake and focused, I have to be doing something fairly active pretty much all the time.
Active by my standards, anyhow. You know… playing a video game or blogging or chatting with Julian or whatnot.
Even watching a YouTube video is not enough. I was watching some episodes of the odd but excellent series “Noodle and Bun”, about a throw pillow shaped cat (Noodle) and his lumpy dog friend (Bun) and their wild, weird adventures, and I kept falling asleep at odd moments.
Here’s a random example of their oeuvre :
I found the weird, wobbly style where everyone seems to be made of hardened gelatin off-putting at first, but once I got used to it, I began to really enjoy the full tilt wacky enthusiasm of the series.
I wish the creators all the success in the world. They deserve it.
Anyhow, I keep drifting off when I am not engaged in things, and like I keep saying, this is beginning to worry me.
I wish I could just sleep eight hours at night like a normal person. But I am too disturbed for that. I have that deep hyper-vigilance that never sleeps because you can’t sleep if you don’t feel safe and I never feel safe. Not entirely.
To my deep mind, danger is always lurking, and the moment you let your guard down (say, to sleep), that’s when it will GET you.
That’s one reason I can’t sleep for more than an hour and a half during the day.
The other is, of course, my overactive bladder. In order to be healthy, I have to move a hell of a lot of water through my body more or less all the time, and that means an awful lot of peeing, and that means waking up to pee way too often.
And I don’t know what I can do about that, apart from getting fitted with a catheter so I don’t have to wake up to pee.
Not eager to go there just yet.
I know that I can’t cut back on my intake of fluids. Not at the rate my body goes through them. I apparently need to manufacture a LOT of urine to carry the blood sugar back out of the body via the controlled ketosis of Jardiance.
God, that’s a stupid name for a drug.,
Maybe if I cut back on the carbs, my body won’t need to make so much pee.
But I have to be really careful about that because I don’t want to end up unhealthy because of too few carbs, like I was for years.
Or maybe I just need to master the art of taking a leak without having to wake all the way up and then have to wear myself down again.
I dunno if that’s possible, though. Part of this whole hyper-vigilance kick is that I feel like I need to be fully awake and aware and (sigh) “in control” in order to be “safe”.
This, at least for now, precludes any muzzy-headed barely awake urination missions. I can’t function like that. If I find myself in such a state, I will immediately freak out and that will bootstrap me into full consciousness in a jiffy.
That’s part of why I was never that much of a drinker. Drinking makes you stupid. And some part of me insists that I need to have my wits about me at all times.
Even when I am asleep. God damn it.
More after the break.
Eat your vegetables
No really. Please do.
It pains me deeply to think that there are millions, probably even billions of grown adults, with jobs and cars and everything, who are still refusing to eat their vegetables.
And mark my words, they are suffering because of it.
They eat nothing but crappy processed high-reward low-nutrition “junk” food and their bodies are breaking down and malfunctioning because of it.
Especially once they reach middle age.
And all because at some point in their early childhood, there was a battle of wills between themselves and a parent who insisted on them eating their vegetables.
A battle they lost. They had to eat them. But thus was born a burning hatred for all vegetables that cost more in terms of their long term nutrition than could have possibly been gained in the parents’ short term victory.
Patient readers know that I was not raised that way. Never in my entire childhood was I forced to eat anything. My mother did not believe in it.
As a result, I have no food aversions of that sort. I love vegetables, especially when they are fresh. Carrots, onions, corn, broccoli, celery, cucumber, chives… the list goes on and on.
And let me be clear : these things taste good. I am not holding my nose and forcing them down. I am eating them both because they taste good and they make me feel good. They make my mouth AND my body happy.
Do they taste as good as mint chocolate chip ice cream? No, they don’t. But they still tastes pretty darn good, with the bonus of making you feel good in the long run, too.
That’s what it’s all about, folks. Feeling good. Eating stuff that tastes good AND makes you feel good instead of stuff that tastes better but leaves you feeling worse.
And trust me, you will feel bad for much longer than the junk food will taste good.
I mean, do the math.
Which is another thing that bugs me : supposed adults refusing to do the basic arithmetic that we all learned in elementary school even when they is money on the line and it could make the difference between, say, driving a nice new car and driving some piece of shit tin can on wheels
And all because they were forced to do math in school and they “hated” it.
Well hating math does not make the kind of truths it represents go away. You will still be ruled by numbers and values for your entire life and you can either take control of that via, I repeat, elementary school math, or be a chump and a sucker who gets ripped off by sharks and bastards who will use your lack of math against you.
It’s really that simple, folks. If you graduated from elementary school, you know enough math to handle your own finances
And eat your god damned vegetables too.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.