And I ain’t talking golf.
Well, time to flog some blog from my tired old brain.
The sandpit in question is the kind Mister Sandman might use to store his excess sleep sand. I am currently very sleepy and wiped out, and it’s such a drag.
Still playing the same character in Skyrim. Just kind of wandering around doing little missions, building up my character and my museum exhibit count.
My eventual goal, if I continue to resist the urge to start over, is to completely fill my museum. I think there’s space for a total of around 1100 exhibits, so at a current total of just shy of 850, I am well on my way.
No idea WTF I would do after that, though. I’d probably have to start a new character then, just to clear out the museum so I can start over.
Because if I am not collecting exhibits for my museum, then what’s the point? Legacy of the Dragonborn really does completely change how you play Skyrim. It gives you this really great long term overall quest that puts everything else you do in a greater context without getting in the way or taking over.
It even provides fun side quests periodically. It really is the best mod ever.
But I will probably end up starting over. It’ll suck to lose all my levels and gear and such, but I’ve done it lots of times before, so I know I will get over it pretty fast.
The rush to get the initial quests done and level on my character so it stands some chance of surviving usually keeps me busy enough to forget the loss of the old character long enough to become emotionally invested in the new one.
Feeling somewhat depressed today. But that’s probably just the sleepiness Took the pill the morning and this time it’s really lingering and making life difficult for me.
Must remind myself that while this is, technically, the sleeping pill’s “fault”, that doesn’t necessarily mean taking it was a bad idea.
I probably need this sleep. So as annoying to me as it can be to sleep all day and not get to have any fun, it’s worth it if it means I get caught up on sleep.
Or so I keep telling myself/. One day I might even start believing it. At moments like this, it can be hard to see a point in it all and I wish I could just wash the sleepout of my system so I can do what I want.
Mot quite at 500 words yet. Fuck it. I’m falling asleep at the keyboard here.
Time for me to go back to bed.
More after the break,
I miss carbs
Sung to the tune of the refrain of this song :
Of course, it’s not really the carbs I miss. It’s the flavours. Carbs can go suck a mile of dick as far as I’m concerned. Don’t miss them, never will.
But I do miss the flavours of all those tasty, tasty carbs. Both the really sweet carbs and the savory ones.
I miss Doritos as much as I miss ice cream sandwiches.
And I think I am far enough into my war on carbs in my diet to admit that I miss them. I am not worried about my resolve crumbling any more because as much as longing fills me sometimes when I see chocolate bars on sale or see those maple shaped cookies with the maple frosting that I love so much, I don’t actually have the urge to eat them.
So it’s not so much “I wish I could have that” so much as it’s “I wish that wasn’t poison to me. ” I know that if I ate the bad stuff, I would immediately feel ill. Headachem nausea, a flushed feeling, and a general feeling of my body saying WTF is this???
And that’s all the reinforcement my aversion to carbs needs. Nausea is your body’s main way of reminding you what NOT to eat (again) ergo once the thing you want to cut down on is programmed into your nausea circuit, the rest takes care of itself.
Diets have tried to force that by using pictures of naughty foods with cigarette butts put out on them or other gross things happening to it, but you can’t force the connection.
If you try, the person develops an aversion to your diet, not the cupcake.
So yeah, I miss the taste of all those carbs I used to it, but not enough to actually eat them. No worries there.
I do wonder how the fuck I survived eating all those goddamned carbs, though. Every goddamned meal came with a side of chips, or pretzels, or Cheetos, or whatever.
And I ate that way for more than a decade. No wonder my diabetes is fucking me up all over now – I am paying for the sins of my youth.
I guess we all do, sooner or later. One way or another.
And I would never go back to that. I do not miss the heavy bloated feeling that came with that kind of excess. I do not miss having that shit weigh me down all the time. I do not miss having a body full of empty carbs where nutrition should have been.
All that shit is worthless food to me now. A waste of my finite appetite. You’re only going to eat so much in a day, so you might as well get the most out of each bite as you can.
In both flavour AND nutrition. And it’s not a zero sum game. You CAN come out ahead. There are plenty of foods that are delicious AND nutritious.
Maybe not as delicious as the worthless junk food, but pretty damned close. And when it comes to 100 percent delicious with zero nutrition and negative effects on top of that versus 90 percent delicious plus nutrition plus no harmful effects, the choice is clear.
Not always easy, but clear.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.