Thoughts on the Voynich Manuscript

Check out this video from my pyramid headed buddy the Illuminaughti :

Love her content. Her videos are always deep, thorough, and fascinating. Plus I find her voice quite pleasant to listen to. She’s serious without being stiff and focused while still being credible, and neither of those are easy to pull off.

Anyhow. About the book.

To me, it’s clearly someone’s art project. They had all the skills to make one of the illustrated science books of the era. Possibly they even did some.

But one day they started doodling and came up with an illustration for something that was not quite real, and then they added something that looked like the right sort of accompanying text, and they liked the results so much, they just kept going.

If so, I love it. That’s art worth doing, in my opinion. It’s an exploration of the form of something isolated from its substance because the substance is blank.

It’s the sort of thing I would do if I had the skills. Bravo.

Presumably, they didn’t mean to create an everlasting and “unsolvable”^[1] mystery. It’s not their fault that their creation got cut off from its creator and all other context and now haunts the halls of history.

However, if they DID intend that, mad respect, dude or dudette. That would make it an even greater work of art.

That’s like, Warhol level shit, man.

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I think I’m making some kind of peace with my current condition.

Either that or I’m just getting better. Either or.

But my happy go lucky mode seems to have kicked in. I feel cheerfully fatalistic at least some of the time. Whatever is gonna happen is gonna happen and so I might as well relax and enjoy the ride.

Sounds good, but there’s a ball of deadly apathy at its heart. A part of me that just can’t be bothered to care what happens to me any more and has therefore given up on trying to steer this fucking ship and has retreated to the galley to get drunk and surrender my fate to the winds.

Maybe through this, I will give my soul the space and rest it needs to renew itself and actually be able to come back to the wheel refreshed and ready to plot a course and get somewhere for a change.

Sea’s wide open, after all.

Or maybe I will just learn to get through life with less pain. It’s not like constantly fighting myself is getting me anywhere. Maybe I can make all this work for me.

To be honest, I am not even sure what I would be giving up. Or giving up on. Nothing worth all the angst, surely, when I could be embracing self-love and learning to be my own best friend good parent so I can guide myself through life with love, tenderness, wisdom, compassion, and a big warm sense of humour about this big bad technicolor shitshow called life.

There’s sunshine in my heart. It’s always there.

I just have to put that hard intellectual edge away and let myself feel it.

More after the break.

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Home for a rest

Feeling fairly good. Managed to make it to Denny’s and back in one piece. Had a great time as usual. Getting to and from the car was a bit of an adventure – especially to, because I started off by standing up too fast and making myself dizzy that way,

So once more getting to the car felt like I was trying to get to the bottom floor of cruise ship during very rough seas.

But whatever. Fuck that noise. It doesn’t matter. Nothing does. Fuck everything always. I just want to have a good time, god damn it, is that so wrong?

I think I am learning to weaponize my angry apathy.

Eat nihilistic void you fucking neuroses!

I was glad to find that my appetite was back at Denny’s. It had gone en vacance for a couple of days, leading me to my undereating.

Like i have said before, one of the dumbest things about the human body is that hypoglycemia – a condition rectifiable mostly by eating – kills your appetite.

So fuck you, intelligent design. That’s terrible code.

Pretty tired at the moment despite all that Diet Coke I just drank at Denny’s.

Insert usual ranting about how much it sucks that I don’t seem to get what other people get out of caffeine. Maybe it perks me up. Maybe it makes me sleepy. Maybe it gives me a splitting headache. Spin the Wheel of Caffeination and find out!

Looking forward to the moment when I am done blogging and I can lay down in bed and surrender all consciousness.

Fuck you, world. I’ll be back when I’m ready.

It feels quiet and dark inside me right now. In a good way. Like those moments when the family is tired from a fun group activity and so everyone curls up here and there and snoozes before the next thing starts.

Nobody called naptime. This was in no way planned. We all just ran out of gas as one and are taking a spontaneous and natural break.

I’ve had a similar feeling when I would wake up in the middle of the night, everyone else asleep, and I drink that deep and drowsy stillness in and languish in its embrace.

These are the moments at the apogee of life’s busy parabolas when all the forces are in balance and we can be, for one brief moment, motionless.

See, I can write nice things too.

Maybe if I keep digging myself out of this hole, I can write even more of them.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.