And my doom continues to dos-y-do.
The “cramp” still hasn’t gone away, but I am getting good at managing it.
Largely via the radical innovation known as “limping”,
By favoring the other leg, I can use the bad one just to pivot without putting my full weight on it and thus manage to get around.
Which is a big relief, because without being able to even get around the apartment, I would have had no choice but to call 911.
After all, if I was genuinely crippled, I wouldn’t have even been able to make it down to the car to be driven to the hospital.
So phew on that. That…. would have sucked.
Then again, I would have gotten prompt attention. And they would have had a hard time missing my problems entirely and shooing me home when I couldn’t fucking walk,
No see, THIS time, I can’t leave until you actually fix me.
Your move, assholes.
But whatever. Now I am back on the slow track, so to speak.
And it’s even slower than I thought. I had planned to ask Joe and/or Julian to drive me to our local Brooke Radiology so I could get the X-rays of my knees today
So I decided to Google them to see what their weekend hours were, and it’s a good thing I did, because it turns out they are nonexistent.
Can you believe it? Those pricks are not open on the weekends at all! This flabbergasts me. How can they be closed when they are the only medical imaging service for the whole freaking government?
As far as I know, anyhow.
So I am quite miffed at that. Gee, thank goodness nobody ever breaks anything or has cancer that needs detecting or needs a fetal ultrasound on the weekend.
The kicker? If I had gone to the ER instead, I would have been X-rayed, ultrasounded, and quite possibly had tea leaves read over me by now.
And I was looking forward to getting something as concrete as X-rays done. That seems like an exciting advancement of the plot of my bleeding demise to me. I was looking forward to maybe finally getting somewhere with all this.
Oh well. They will be open on Monday. I will just have to wait,
Oh, and my new office chair arrived yesterday. Joe and Julian are down in our building’s gym assembling it as I type these words.
They had to take it down there because there’s no room to do it up here. I am quite excited to finally be getting a chair that works.
It’s pretty cheap. I chickened out on my plan to spend at least $200 on it so I would get something of good quality and got this one for a bit under $100.
Spending more money than absolutely necessary can be hard for me.
But it has the all-important lumbar support and that could save me a hell of a lot of back pain. My lumbar region is Ground Zero for my back pain and I have fantasized about having some support there many times.
Right now, I am just worried that it will be a cheap piece of crap that can’t hold my weight. Of course I am only thinking of that consideration now.…
Oh well. If it shatters beneath my bulk, I will pursue a refund, and next time, I will spend a wee bit more.
More after the break.
And so I fall
Well, I did my weird fall again. That makes four times at least.
You know, the one where it feels like an invisible giant is bashing me to the ground? That one. I was retrieving my Denny’s order from outside our apartment door and somehow the bag containing it got stuck in the door and I tugged a couple of times and that was enough to set off the avalanche.
I had just enough time to shout, “Oh fuck, OH FUCK!” and then I was flop-bott down on my floppy butt again.
Once more, no real harm done. If I have to fall somewhere, that’s pretty much the best place. Nature provides us with a natural cushion at that exact spot so that we can survive learning to walk and it occasionally serves the same function as an adult.
After I fell, I found myself afraid to try to get back up. That probably came from some long dormant memory from the days when I was new to bipedal locomotion too, because it was a very primal kind of fear.
But as in days of yore, my urge to actually get places overcame my fear. After all, I sure as fuck didn’t want to live the rest of my life on the floor!
So I eventually got up the nerve to try to get up. And it took a few tries, but I did it, hence my being here to type this.
The first few times I was foolishly trying to get up like a normal person would. From being on hands and knee up to on my knees then standing up fully.
Not gonna happen. My muscles lack the strength.
Instead, I ended up finding some place I could put my hands (inside a full laundry basket, weirdly enough) so I could use my much more reliable arms to boost myself up to where my wimpy legs could take over.
Lack of serious harm aside, though, this makes me realize that I have to give considerable thought to whether it is safe for me to be home alone.
I’m thinking no. Which is a rather big problem.
Because I would never dream of asking Joe and Julian to take up babysitting duties. That would basically make it so that Julian would be stuck at home while Joe is at work.
UNACCEPTABLE. Not even a consideration.
But I can’t assume that I will always be able to get out of whatever mess I get myself into. I could end up in real trouble one day.
Maybe I need to live in an assisted living facility of some sort. Either that or the Province is going to have to pay for a full time caretaker for me.
Neither of those sound either pleasant or probable.
I will have to think on it some more. In the meanwhile…
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.