Did the Wound Care thing today.
And yup, was just a bit harder than last time (on Friday) to get to and from the car. The pain built up just a little bit faster and I felt just a little bit crazier and I was just that little bit more of a wreck when I got home.
And I don’t know how much more of this I can take. At some point, possibly within the following week, I will simply not be able to make it.
And then what?
I’ll still have places. I got to go. Medical places. Important places. Non-optional places.
So I will have to get there somehow.
Stopping in the middle to rest is possible if somewhat absurd and humiliating. Not sure where I would rest and it would most likely involve sitting on the floor in a hallway. hence the humiliation part.
I could bring a chair. Nah, they don’t make chairs that are both portable and sturdy enough to hold my bulk which are light enough for me to carry.
No matter how I slice it, I am going to need some sort of support device soon. I don’t see any way around it.
And when that happens, I will have to go see Doctor Chao to both update him on the state of my decrepitude and to see if he knows how I get the process started to get the province to pay for whatever it is that will help me to walk.
I am thinking a lot about braces of some sort lately. Don’t know why, it’s not like having big bulky metal braces on my legs is any less cumbersome than crutches or a wheelchair plus they tend to be quite loud and hence attention attracting.
Not good for the ol’ social anxiety at all. But I suppose the only way to get around that issue entirely would be if they made me bionic.
Not an option, as far as I know.
Unsurprisingly, did not get those X-rays yet. Didn’t even bother bringing the lab req with me to Wound Care today because I knew there was little chance I would be up for doing the x-rays afterward.
Tomorrow for sure, though. Can’t let this drop. Got to get X-rays if I am to stand a chance of saving these legs of mine from obsolescence and save myself from a pretty serious lifestyle adjustment.
No matter what mode of locomotive support I end up using, I am going to need more room. Not sure how the fuck that is going to work,
Maybe I will finally get rid of this king sized bed in favour of something queen-sized and maybe even somewhat new-ish.
There’s all these companies touting their less-than-extortionately priced buy-online mattresses these days. All supposedly also the most comfortable sleep ever.
I might need financing help but if they really are that good, I can totally see sinking serious cash into something like that,
Better sleep makes everything better all across the spectrum.
There’s a bit of wisdom floating around that says that if it gets between you and the ground, it’s worth getting the best you can.
So shoes, beds, tires, and so on.
I totally agree.
More after the break.
One of us…. one of us…
Instant furry classic right there.
You’re right, folks. We’re taking over the world. Once enough of us were working in the animation field to steer projects, y’all were DOOMED.
Buy a tail and learn to bark, bitch!
This will be our planet soon.
Bow before your cute fuzzy overlords!
MUA HA HA HA, etc.!
Deep into the night
It’s almost 9:30 and I still haven’t had supper yet.
This is after having “lunch” just before five.
Why? Because in both cases, getting my food involved getting up and going to the kitchen and back, and it took me a long time to work up the nerve to do so because I knew the experience would be painful and traumatic and would lead to my returning to my computer in a far unhappier state that would not go away right away.
Getting “lunch” was bad enough. I was sweating bullets from the pain by the time I got back here, and that’s WITH taking several breaks along the way.
By all rights, I should probably be in some kind of assisted living situation by now. It will not be long before I can’t do a lot of things for myself.
And I have no idea how to handle that. I feel helpless to deal with being helpless. I know that it means I should look for help but my social anxiety makes help-seeking very hard for me. So I am, for the moment, balking at the prospect.
Clock is ticking, though, and obviously it would be better to at least start dealing with problem BEFORE it becomes a crisis and I am desperate.
Getting my x-rays tomorrow will be a good start but I will need to do a lot more before I can be sure I will retain bipedal locomotion even if my legs degrade to the point where I just plain can’t stand up any more.
I really hope it doesn’t come to that. But it just might. So I gotta prepare.
I wonder if there’s a pamphlet out there from Pueblo, Colorado called “So you have just lost the use of your legs….. ” that might point me in the right direction.
But, ya know, Canadian. From Igloo, Saskatchewan.
I want to believe that I will get the full use of my legs back. But before then there will be a period where they ain’t not good to me, and I have to survive that somehow.
Please at least leave me the ability to go to the toilet by myself.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.
Oh, And I still haven’t eaten. Guess I am skipping another meal tonight.
God fucking damn it.