But only a start.
So my apartment building is being treated for cockroaches (eep!) tomorrow, and here I am in my filthy bug-ridden environs feeling incredibly anxious because these people are gonna show up with their bug traps and see my pigsty and judge me harshly.
And I am deeply ashamed of the state of this room of mine. I live in squalor for what seems to the world to be absolutely no good reason and this bug trap visit is bringing that to the forefront and I don’t like it.
So I have started trying to clean up. I guess where filth could not motivate shame just might, but I know there’s no chance I can actually make this place clean in time.
And I know this to be true because, quite disappointingly, I found myself completely out of gas after just a half hour of cleaning, and I’d hope to do at least an hour or two.
But nope. Started at 2 pm and by 2:30 pm I was all tuckered out.
Dunno who this Tucker guy was but he was presumably very tired.
So tomorrow will be a sort of neurotic apocalypse for me. My demons are arriving in force and they come bearing bug traps.
Just like the old gypsy predicted!
Honestly, I really hope they show up when I am out of the apartment. That way they can judge all they want and I won’t care.
And I am going to be out of the apartment for a chunk of time. I have my appointment to see Doctor McKay (about the fluid building up in my eyes) tomorrow and that will probably keep me busy between 10 am and 11:30 am, and then I have good ol wound care at noon, so if I am lucky I will be away for two and a half hours.
Honestly, if they haven’t come and gone by then, I will seriously consider getting Julian to drop me off at my favorite White Spot (on Ackroyd) and then come get me when the coast is clear.
This is really fucking with me.
Oh well, at least it’s keeping me from worrying about my eyes.
I’ve only got so much bandwidth for freaking out, after all.
Meanwhile, I have been spending a lot of time on Bluesky. That’s the hip new alternative to Twitter (sorry, Twix) that all the cool people in the world are flocking to because Twix has become a toxic hellscape of right wing hooliganism.
And of course, with every decent person who flees Twix, the toxicity of the place only gets worse until one bright and shining day in the not too distant future when all us libs will be gone and they will only be trolling each other.
In fact, some of them are already migrating to Bluesky for some reason and then whining about how left wing Bluesky is.
I don’t understand it. Wouldn’t you be more comfortable with all your awesome right wing bros back on Twix? I am sure they make you feel all warm and included!
Or are you willing to admit that you can’t stand to be around people like yourself?
Come on now. You can do it. Just a little push and I am sure you can evolve a sense of irony and shame again.
Trump hasn’t completely made you his bitch yet!
I find the folks on Bluesky to be very groovy. And it doesn’t matter if right wingers invade now because they will be little red drops in a vast blue ocean, and cannot possible have any noticeable effect apart from providing sport for assholes like me.
So bring it on, you troglodytes. Just try to troll me.
Because I troll back. And I can troll way, way harder than you ever could.
Because y’all are dumber than fuck.
More after the break.
Oh crap no
I am feeling ill. Dammit.
My lungs feel very stiff and scratchy and sore. Hurt a little bit with every breath. Add to that feeling feverish and a little out of it and bone tired, and the picture is bleak.
Well I don’t care. I am going to my eye appointment no matter what. Sorry, John Q. Public, but my eyesight is at stake.
And I use that all the time!
In fact I’m using it right now.
But I really don’t like how I feel right now. This definitely feels like a lot more than just a cold. It feels like someone or something is sitting on my chest. And pain when you breathe is never a good sign.
So right now I am hoping my immune system can fight this shit off before it turns into pneumonia. I don’t want to end up spending a week or more in the hospital on top of the rest of my stressors.
I don’t even have a working tablet to use to keep me occupied. I’d have to either order the battery for it right quick or make do with books and crossword puzzles.
And I have done that before, and it stinks.
Hey Doc, can you do me a favor?
But hey, now I’m not worried about the bug trap people OR my eyes!
Let’s stop there though, please, I’d hate to see what’s next.
The ironic part is that I started feeling bad when I was cleaning my room. At the time I thought I was just tired from the cleaning but nope, I was at the beginning of coming down with whatever it is I have now.
I suppose that when I go out tomorrow, I should wear a mask for the protect of the public. Assume I make it that far.
It’s not impossible that I will get worse and have to go to the ER before then. And then boom goes my eye appointment.
It’s not like the hospital can do that kind of work.
Oh, one ray of hope I need to cling to though : it’s the fluid pressure in my eyes that is making my vision bad right now, so it is possible that if that pressure can be relieved,I will suddenly see a heck of a lot better!
That sure would be nice.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.