Fighting for zero

Well for fuck’s sake.

After my computer crashed while I was not even using it (thanks, Salad), I of course rebooted. And my computer came back online.

But it came back wrong!

Apparently, out internet is out, which is why I am typing this into a Libre Office document and not the WordPress interface for my blog as God intended.

My computer connects to the network fine, but the network can’t seem to reach the internet at large at all, and my uninformed guess is that this is a Shaw Cable problem, not an us problem.

I have rebooted several times with no useful result. Once I get enough words out of my system to calm down enough to even think about doing a totally cold reboot where I turn the power off at the power supply (basically unplugging the whole thing) then boot up from THERE, I will have some kind of definitive answer as to where the fault lies.

Not in our stars but in ourselves, as Shakespeare wrote.

It’s just aggravating as a lot of fuck to have to fight this hard just to get back to normal. I should not have to toil and wait and toil again just to get back to where I fucking started.

Not that this is a particularly useful kind of “should” or “shouldn’t”. Whether something should or should not have happened is irrelevant to the problem at hand and can divert important mental resources from the task of actually solving the problem.

But even a paragon of logical analysis like myself (sic) has to give in to the urge to shake his fist at the sky and curse the gods now and then, whether or not it “makes sense”.

It vents emotion, and that’s all the sense I need it to make.


Well I did the fully cold boot and it didn’t fix anything. I am still at the “connected to the network but the network isn’t on the internet right now” phase.

Lovely. Because life didn’t suck enough yet, apparently.

Oh well, I can at least still play some of my video games. Offhand, I can’t think of any of my currently installed games which would have reason to need to be online all the time.


That doesn’t mean they won’t require it, of course. Video game companies love requiring an internet connection so that they can continually monitor you to make sure you’re not pirating games.


Which is downright creepy, now that I think of it. We must watch you constantly to make sure you are not breaking the law, Citizen.


But really, it’s for your own protection. From, i dunno, scammers or whatever.

Trust us, we wouldn’t violate your privacy just because we live in a culture of corporate paranoia where everyone is guilty until proven innocent, and even then we assume you’re guilty as hell and are only eluding our greedy grasp because of the mere technicality that you didn’t do it.

A likely story. That’s what they all say!


I just asked Julian to reset our WiFi router. Hopefully that will resolve the problem. If it doesn’t, then we will have to escalate to actually calling Shaw and asking WTF.

I hope that does not prove necessary as it will be a lot of hassle. As with nearly everything, I would rather deal with it all by myself.


It’s so much less complicated that way. Involving other people in things always makes this so much slower and clumsier and stupider.


I did not and never will enjoy group work. Just give me a task and let me get at it.


I can been incredibly productive that way. Don’t make me slow down to the speed of

the slowest sheep in the flock. Let me FLY.
More after the break.


The return of the kid

Well rebooting the router restored our internet access, so say for that.

I’m still writing this in LibreOffice because at this point it’s marginally easier. Plus I like how Libre provides me with a constant word count as opposed to WordPress, which makes me press a button to see how much I’ve written.

Oh, how I have suffered.

Other than my computer and internet issues, today’s been okayish. I have my Xmas shopping on the way to being done.

My credit card is glowing red hot from overuse, but whose isn’t this time of year?

Hopefully Joe’s gift from me will arrive before Denny’s tomorrow. We don’t leave for Denny’s until 7:10 pm or so, so the odds are good.

Physically, I feel fairy rotten today. My cold or flu like symptoms are back. Runny nose, sore ear nose and throat, and all the rest.
I’m starting to wonder if it’s not anything viral at all but rather how dehydration presents in me. If so, then all my talk of upping my hydration game gains a brand new urgency.

Because I sure as fuck hate feeling like this.

The muscle soreness and stiffness in particular has been kicking my ass today. That awful back pain I get where it feels like a giant is squeezing my spine is back and it’s not playing around.

I’ve been taking my muscle relaxants to try to fix it. Hard to know if they actually help because the problem happens mostly when I have just gotten out of bed and for obvious reasons, I have not taken a pill in a while when that happens.

The pills do seem to help me get to sleep and stay asleep thought. So there’s that.

Emotionally, right now I feel tired and anxious and low key depressed. I feel very isolated and alone and abandoned, which is a feeling to which I am sadly quite prone.

When depression’s deadly chill comes down it’s like interstellar space inside me. I try my best to remember that no matter what my electrochemical imbalances tell me, the people who love me are still out there and still care about me and want me to be happy.

I guess it’s just easier to feel forsaken and forlorn.

Not better. Just easier.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.