Well I’m pissed off.
For the last couple of days, I kept feeling cold in odd ways.
Like feeling like there was a cold breeze circulating between my comforter and me when I was lying in bed.
Not very comforting!
Or my feel feeling like they were immersed in ice water.
I was getting cold feet!
Or this terrible deep down chill that felt like death’s caress.
From this I concluded I must be terribly sick.
So I have been very worried about my health. That kind of thing is not a minor symptom. It usually means bad shit is about to go down.
Like a blood sugar crash. Or some kind of circulatory event of a sinister nature. Or that I have some terrible infection.
So I wasn’t even sure I would make it to Denny’s tonight.
Possible because I was in the fucking ER again.
But then, on the way to the bathroom this afternoon, I was struck with a sneaky suspicion. One I hoped was baseless.
See, I suddenly remembered that I’d had this exact problem before. Breeze under the sheets, frozen feet, and all.
So then I tried to remember what I had done to fix it.
Oh that’s right. I turned the heat in my room way up.
So I did my business in the bathroom and then came out to check my thermostat.
Sure enough, it was turned down. ALL THE WAY DOWN.
I mean, what the ever loving fuck? If you’re too hot, turn it done a little bit. Don’t god damned deprive me of the benefits of indoor heating entirely.
I am a very sickly man. My immune system is compromised and I am quite weak. I cannot afford to be cold at all.
And that goes double for being as cold as it is outside in February.
Now there are only two people who might have done this deed : Joe, and Julian.
Julian denies it. He actually suggested that it might have happened accidentally.
No, Julian, a big dial does not get turned from all the way up to all the way down accidentally. Like, under what scenario could that possibly happen?
And I sure as hell would not do it on purpose. I turned it up that high for a reason : to make sure I was never, ever cold in my own room.
I have zero motive for changing that.
It would seem that Joe is the only remaining suspect, but I somehow doubt it. He’s too reliable to turn the thermostat down then forget to turn it back up.
But who knows, maybe he will confess and the whole thing will be over.
I’m just pissed off at the whole thing. I feel betrayed, though I know it wasn’t done on purpose to hurt me.
Perhaps the right word is “disappointed”, then.
But at least I am getting mad and staying mad instead of just swallowing the anger and retreating to my dark grotto while it eats away at my heart like acid reflux.
I will see this through to the end, no matter what.
More after the break.
Ship of fools sailing on
A quote from this here song :
Part of the burden of a high level of intelligence is that you are living in a world run by and for relative idiots.
Emphasis on relative. Average people are not stupid in any absolute sense. They are only stupid compared to me.
I’m the outlier, not them. I’m the weird one.
It’s the part I was born to play, baby!
There is an episode of Reboot that handles this in a hilarious way. The kid, Enzo, breaks into some mystic whatsit that grants him one wish, and he wishes to be the smartest person in Mainframe.
But of course, wishes as always being bastards, the whatsit accomplishes this by making everyone else in Mainframe stupid.
He then has to figure out how to survive in a world where everyone is a moron, including all the main characters.
Trust me kid, it amounts to the same thing.
In fact, I would say the number one challenge for us high IQ types is (relative) stupidity.
Thus the popularity of escaping into some form of elitism. It is a justifiable reaction to discovering that, in a very meaningful way, you are more powerful than most people.
And yet, at least for my generation, you are also persecuted for that power.
The only possible response to that for a lot of people is to identify as a member of a persecuted elite minority in one way or another.
And there was a time I might have gone that way. Lord knows I would have been justified. There I was in elementary school doing my schoolwork with contemptuous ease and (unknowingly) lording it over the other students by scoffing at the same work they found very difficult, while during lunch and recess I had to hide from my classmates or I would get physically abused.
That’s not just how you make an elitist. That’s how you make a supervillain.
But when I contemplated trying out elitism one day, a very strong and powerful voice rose within me and said “NO.”
And I have never looked back. Something deep inside me violently and unequivocally rejects elitism and that’s that.
Yes, I am a lot smarter than most people. But no better. I’m worth one human life just like everybody else.
Perhaps my brains make me more qualified to have opinions on certain things that others. If so, I will put in my 25 cents worth just like everyone else.
No amount of intellect can allow you to bypass the marketplace of ideas. It can only give you a competitive advantage.
And I am too keenly aware of the many ways in which this high IQ has come at the cost of being unable to do normal things to think of it as an unalloyed boon.
I have all my character points sunk into Intelligence.
All my other stats suck.
I will leave you with this little nugget of irony : I consider elitism beneath me.
In that sense. I am too arrogant to be an elitist. I consider them inferior.
Does that make me a spiritual elitist? 🙂
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.