It’s all Robin Williams’ fault!
Well, not really.
I talk about it here :
To be clear, I wish I could be a more positive person. And maybe I will be when I finish venting my bile and ridding myself of this emotional excess cargo.
I’m done with letting this stuff out at a slow trickle or even a steady stream.
I want to vent on an industrial scale so I can get this shit DONE.
G’won! Giddout! Amscray! All you suppressed emotions have been freeloading off my precious mental resources for way too long, and now your ass is being evicted.
Whatever that takes.
And that includes violating my usual fluffy cute and harmless persona for a while. Don’t get me wrong, I still strive to be that way.
But I won’t be able to truly be Fruvous until I shed a lot of ugly emotional weight and that means being pissed off a whole bunch.
My backlog of unexpressed rage stretches for miles.
But all of that is not the true reason I feel cranky today, or at least, not all of it.
Because I am also sick. It’s my usual syndrome. I feel drained, and my muscles feel like they are just hanging off of me. Everything I do takes considerably more effort than usual both due to the energy drain and my muscles being really stiff. My nose is running, of course, and occasionally that makes me cough.
Blah blah BLAH. All the usual bullshit. None of it is what I would call severe, although the muscle stiffness is really a bitch when it comes time to use the bathroom, but they were enough for me to decide not to do Wound Care and exercise at the Kinsmen Center today, damn it.
But this syndrome of mine is quite possibly viral, something my weak immune system can’t quite seem to finish off, so I am not going to expose sick people at the CHAC to it, let alone the old folks at the CHAC.
Is it possible have just like a mild case of long COVID?
I don’t think it’s dehydration alone this time as I have been hydrating aggressively and while that has eased the muscle stiffness somewhat and I don’t feel nearly as bleh as I did this morning, but I am still pretty sick.
Oh wait, I have naproxen. Time for one of those.
Basically, overall, I feel very poisoned and toxic and bleh. Like I should leave a trail of slime wherever I go, or maybe leave glow in the dark footprints.
And apparently, this is just something my body has to go through periodically. And I use that term loosely because it’s not like it happens at regular intervals.
That would imply mercy.
If it’s not the produce of an inimical microorganism, then I dunno. I can’t imagine anything in the body that could malfunction in a way that causes that particular constellation of symptoms all at once now and then.
Possibly some obscure gland ain’t doing its job.
Well at least I finished my “Because… ” trilogy. And who knows, maybe there will be more of those in the future as I rummage around in my emotional attic and find more stuff I have to throw out.
And for an emotionally stunted writer like me, there’s only one way to express my emotions and that’s by writing (or otherwise expressing) them.
And that’s where you fine folk come in. Without someone to receive, I can’t send, so thank you, my loyal fans, for making this whole thing possible.
I literally could not do it without you.
More after the break.
Any other things?
Well I returned that “Tactical Breach Wizards” game when I realized that there was no circumstance in which I could imagine playing it again.
So I might as well get my money back and get something else.
Then I bought a game called Geneforce 1 – Mutagen based solely on the fact that my good buddy Maelkoth is a huge fan and I have to say, I’m enjoying the game so far, but um, not unreservedly.
Because the concept is great. You’re a wizard who summons creatures to fight for you.
There’s two other character classes, but when summoning critter like that is an option, I am going for it.
I mean, who wants to be a fighter in a game like that? Not me.
And so far the plot is interesting, the writing is good, the world seems well fleshed out, but there’s one little problem.
The game looks like this :
And I get that it’s a remake of a much older game and a lot of people are nostalgic for that kind of “retro” gaming, but I am old enough to remember when that’s just what games looked like so in my mind it doesn’t look “retro and cool”, it looks “old and crappy” and I find that depressing.
So I might not keep the game. I dunno. I feel like returning an otherwise great game for purely aesthetic reasons would be shallow of me but I suppose if playing the game depresses me, that is reason enough.
I’m just glad Steam isn’t a person because they would be getting SO sick of my buying and returning things by now.
I am still playing Darkest Dungeon a fair bit. It’s wild how the devs who made the game managed to make something so enjoyable to play out of such basic ingredients.
Your characters are basically animated paper cutouts. The missions you go on are procedurally generated (random). There’s only like three location types, so three kinds of backgrounds and critters. You spend all your time in either a room or a corridor between rooms. Everything about it is very basic.
And yet, somehow, I love playing it. I love the Edgar Allen Poe-esque dramatic horror of it all, I love the many character classes for your heroes, I love the battle system, the voice acting for our macabre narrator is superb, and the writing is great at conveying the kind of dark and grim atmosphere on which the game relies.
Apparently there’s a sequel but it’s nothing like the original, presumably because this time they had an actual budget.
Still, it shows that I can find a game and settle on it sometimes.
I’m not a total flake!
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.