If I wasn’t terrified of copyright lawyers, I totally would have used this song as the intro to today’s vid :
Here’s my sadly unadorned vid instead ;
I do wish I could add production value to my vids in general. I mean, my talking to the camera vids are fine for TikTok, in fact, if I made them any fancier they would stick out like a sore thumb.
So my vids that do have a bit of panache, like my LOS music videos, do not really fit in with the rest of TikTok.
But on YouTube, all my fave YouTubers have at least a bit more than just them talking. And I want my videos to be more fun too.
I could take a cue from m’man John Michael Godier and mostly use the same clips of space type stuff in each video.
If there’s video relevant to what he’s talking about, he’ll include it, but for the most part it’s the same stuff each time.
And I’m fine with that. It’s what he is saying and how he is saying it that is the draw for me. Most of the time I don’t even watch his videos, I just listen to them.
So maybe I am making a big deal over nothing.There’s lots of listenable content on YouTube, in fact it’s quite popular to make stuff where the visuals are quite optional.
Which is ironic, when you think of it. The world’s video host being used for content you could put on the radio.
I think part of why I want to make my videos fancier is simply so they can express more of my creative energies and generally exuberant nature.
Making a video every day is definitely a good investment because it takes so much more of my creativity, engagement, and energy than blogging does.
To the point where on a lot of days, making the video makes the blogging seem very relaxing and mellow.
There’s so much less to keep in my head!
So if I had a way to make my vids genuinely better, I might find that I have to stretch my daily video making over two sessions in order to get it all done.
Oh no, that would require a sacrifice of more of my time spent wasting my fucking life playing god damned video games.
Oh, the horror.
Of course, insert standard Fru boilerplate about wishing I had an editor so I could send my “just me talking” vids to them and THEY could add the visuals for me.
There are people out there who do that, and enjoy it.
I just don’t know how to get one.
I need people skills dammit!
But what occurred to me recently is that it’s not like I can’t add images and video clips to my videos to make them more visually appealing.
Heck, I even added an image to today’s vid. Yay me.
So it’s not that I can’t, I just don’t want to put in the work. Finding enough pics and clips to fill even a three minute video would be such a hassle.
Maybe I should start small, with YouTube shorts.
Those are less than a minute!
More after the break.
I have a question for my beloved audience : does this look like a real video to you?
It’s a video of a ridiculous number of bunnies bouncing on a trampoline and it is, of course, very appealing, and it looks real, but I have grave doubts.
Like, how would you get them to all bounce in sync like that? For that matter, how would you even get them all on the trampoline at the same time without any of them hopping away to get away from the crowding? Why was it filmed at night?
I suspect AI shenanigans. And maybe that’s the joke and I am just too old to “get it”.
What do you think?
From the inside out
I’ve attempted to explain this before but I’ve not managed to do it to my own satisfaction so what the hell, let’s try again.
It is fundamentally about an escape from self-consciousness. I want to live my life from my emotional core outwards, so that everything starts from my real emotions and who I truly am and not some preconceived idea from the glowering malevolent eye of my overweaning superego of how I “should” feel or who I “should” be.
I suspect all self-consciousness comes from the same root : a desire to prevent social pain by controlling ourselves from what we imagine is how others see us.
This is invariably highly distorted by the inherent feedback loop from the fact that our perceptions feed into our self-image and thus change that which is being perceived.
What I want is to stop that (literally) maddening loop so I can finally detox and live a natural, calm, relaxed life without so much fucking feedback in my head. To return to life as it was when I was a child and simply lived life.
That’s what I mean by living life from the inside out. If everything is rooted firmly in my true self and what I really think and feel, then all the artificial constraints and vain attempts to control outcomes fall away and harmony and unity come within reach.
But self-consciousness is going to be a hard habit to break. That voice screaming that if I close that scowling disapproving eye in the sky forever terrible things will happen has been ruling the roost for a very long time and talking myself into turning that damned thing off and going “out of control” anyhow will not be easy.
What if I go crazy? What if I hurt people? What if I humiliate myself? What if I create so much chaos in my life and in my head that I never find my way out again? What if without that omnipresent oppression I don’t even know who I am any more?
To do so is to take a step into the complete unknown and only one thing can convince a person to do a thing like that : faith.
And I ain’t got none.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.