Came across this vid in my YouTube wanderings, and thought there was a lot of good stuff in there, so I wanted to share and comment :

Let’s get started.

“Comparison is the thief of joy. “

I don’t normally think of myself as someone who compares themselves to others.{{!}}

I don’t give a fuck about keeping up with the Joneses. I don’t get jealous when people I know get ahead in life. I tend to ignore petty status symbols and similar vanities.

But there’s one very large, very important, and extremely potent group of people I compare myself to and it damned near crushes me every fucking time.

And that’s People My Age. I am acutely aware that the vast majority of people have made something of themselves and have a career and a family and a modicum of success by the time they are 48, and I have never even had a job.

And yes, I know I have been very sick for a long long time and I suppose that should be enough of an explanation for me to forgive myself for all that. \

But it ain’t.

And even if I stop blaming myself for it all, it still fucking hurts. I want what they have so bad. And the more I think about it, the more bitter I feel about being denied it.

So let’s move on.

“If you’re going to eat crap, don’t nibble it. ”

In less disgusting terms, if you are going to do something, do it wholeheartedly. Don’t do it with one foot out the door. Don’t go into every situation already looking for the exits.

Throw yourself into what you do and you will get far more out of it. Things you do will have a much higher chance of seeming “worth it” and so will life.

I need to learn this so bad.

For a long time, I have pondered whether part of the problem with clever, broken people like me is that we are far too keenly aware of the possibility of escape.

From what I have seen, normal healthy strong people just do whatever is in front of them. The idea that they could just stop and escape never occurs to them, Whatever instinct causes herds to move in the same direction urges them to just keep going in life and while to us smarty pants types it might seem like mindless conformity (and it is), they at least keep going and end up experiencing more of life.

Why? Because they do not think they have a choice. They always do whatever those around them are doing. For them, the social illusion is very real, as real as the laws of physics and just as hard to deny.

And I think they draw great strength from that. Their umwelt is a far more stable, reliable, predictable, and safe place as a result.

I mean, sure, the sheep at the center of the herd never discover new territory, but they don’t get picked off by coyote either.

In some ways I wish I could forget that escape is always possible. I might be a lot better off if I thought I had no choice but to go through whatever it is I am doing.

Too late for that, though. I’m clever as fuck. I see beyond the social illusion with startling clarity and can step out of it any time I choose. I am He Who Walks Between Walls, a five dimensional creature in a three dimensional world, and that gives me powers.

It also leaves me quite alone in a world that doesn’t feel real to me at all.

So, yay me, I guess.

More after the break.

More Words of Wisdom

What the hell, I’m not even a third of the way through the video yet.

“Do you want it done right, or done right now?”

The sentiment is trite but damn do I love the phrasing. Sounds like something I would come up with.

Only when I said it, people would just get confused.

“But… same word singsong make brain hurt!”.

Yeah yeah. This is why people like me write. Better chance of being understood.

“…just put glue on your ass and do it….”

Exactly. Fuck this “I just can’t seem to do it” bullshit.

Gee, what could the solution to not doing something?

Yes, you in the back with your hand up.

“Could it be…. doing the thing?”

Ding ding ding! Very good. You make take one candy from the jar.

Everything else is self-defeating bullcrap. What the person wants is for you to say magic words that make then able to have done the thing without doing it.

Like there is anything anyone can say that will suddenly make you motivated enough to do it. You have already decided whether you want to do it or not.

If you want to do it, do it. Pay the price, grit your teeth, exit the world of aimless hedonism that has become our default state, and do the fucking thing.

And if you don’t want to do it, fuck it then. Give up on it and move on.

But whatever you do, do not hover in the twilight of indecision. It will only cause you more pain, suffering, doubt, and self-questioning than actually doing the thing could ever do to you.

The only way to do it is to do it.

Repeat until believed.

“…nobody is paying as much attention to you as you think.”

The way I formulated it for myself as a child : “On averare,other people think about you about as often as you think about them, “

Put another way : we are all wrapped up in our own little lives in our own little world. To us, that world is our entire universe and we tend to subconsciously think other people see us the same way.

But those closet universes in our heads only have room for one. They see as much of what you do as you see of what they do,

So relax. People aren’t judging you.

In fact, they barely notice you at all!

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.

[[1]] After all, if I was, I would look bad in front of my Gen X peers! [[1]]