Shared mostly for the little British girl at the beginning.

And also because it’s an awesome album and every track on it is genius.

But to answer your question, Alice, sure, I can tell you the way to the real world. Just go in the exact opposite direction that I am facing and you should be there in no time.

This discovery of my blanket phobia of the real world has really opened my eyes, and I think I have started the long journey towards overcoming it.

Right now it’s just a straight up wrestling match. I feel like I am slowly forcing my way into that rapidly raging stream of constant fear and as I plunge deeper, I interrupt it and rob it of its power, bit by bit.

Good thing for me that I am incredibly stubborn. If I can get myself started on something, I will feel compelled to finish it, and nothing short of my dropping dead will keep me from reaching my goal.

So I am not worried that I will give up right away like I have done with so many things in the past. Once I get going, I keep going until I reach my goal.

And in this case I am kind of highly motivated. The stakes are high and the potential rewards are rich beyond measure. That’s more than enough to keep me going.

Plus the secret to self-sustaining stubbornness is that obstacles and challenges just make you angrier and more determined than ever to see it through.

It’s like the universe is actively trying to make you give up and you’re like, “Well you can go fuck yourself, I’m gonna try harder!”.

That’s the secret to life, kids. Losers give up. Winners try harder.

This is why I have always longed for opposition in my life. I know that if I had someone, or a group of people, to fight against, I would have no more trouble finding motivation.

The sheer pleasure of defiance and righteous opposition would be more than enough.

Of course, that assumes they can put up a decent fight, and that’s where things get tricky because I am enormously powerful in my realm.

My combination of verbal wizardry, enormous intellect, powerful personality and presence, and sharp wit make me a very hard person to oppose.

In fact I find it kind of hard to even imagine someone having what it takes to be a proper opponent for me.

I mean, I know that I can’t possibly be the smartest person in the world. The odds are nearly eight billion to one on that one. Nor can I be the only smart person who is also charismatic and incredibly stubborn and sharp as hell.

So statistically, logically, I know that my match must exist out there. Maybe there is even, dare I hope, someone who can thoroughly and definitively kick my ass and send me home to mama in the world.

I would love that so much. Finally, someone I can lean from!

Maybe I should just go be incredibly rude and offensive on Reddit and see if that causes the gunslinger effect^[1] to produce a worthy opponent eventually.

I could never bring myself to actual be mean, rude, and evil, but I sure as heck could be provocative, controversial, and obnoxiously confident.

That might be enough to do the trick.

Surely somewhere out there is the sensei of my dreams!

More after the break.

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Great, now I’m sick

I am getting really tired of waking up to some kind of nasty surprise.

Like my eye being fucked up. Or not being able to stand up properly. Or like right now, where I woke up feeling very feverish and too sick to eat.

I will at least force myself to eat an orange. And I am drinking water in order to see if dehydration is part of the problem.

Oh, my nose is running too.

Oh, wonderful. Now the fire alarm is going off, and I am here in the apartment all alone cause Julian is at the hospital, and I am physically unable to just get up and go out without taking a big risk of falling down.

I hope someone just burned the toast or something, otherwise I could be in a hell of a lot of trouble.

Well if I see or smell smoke, or feel feat coming up from the floor or down from the ceiling, or any of that, I am going to have to unfold the rollator and rollate myself the hell out of here despite the risks.

I just had an awful thought : what if I don’t have a fever, it’s just that hot in here because the whole building is on fire?

I hear sirens in the distance. And they’re coming closer. I guess if they stop outside, I will have my answer and will have to call 911.

I know I can make it as far is the second floor parking structure. So I could probably make it to the lobby. I guess if pressed, I could get across the lobby and then I would be outside the front entrance.

Sirens are even closer now. But they keep going off then coming on again. Are they having trouble finding the address?

Oh, and just to make this all the more perfect, I am not sure I have any clean plants. So I might have to make a pantsless escape.

Wouldn’t that just be ducky. Me, outside, in the winter, naked between the waist and ankles, bits flopping about.

Well I guess I’d put on a dirty pair in that case.

Yay, the alarm stopped. Phew, the secrets of my genitals are safe!

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.